God Help the Wayans Brothers

Just last night I had the misfortune of seeing a preview for the latest installment in the Wayans brothers film catalog. A grouping that can only be described as, "a sociological experiment constructed to test the limits of what our culture will allow to be considered worthy material for a hollywood film." As I watched the preview unfold (for a film entitled, "Little Man," and yes - it is about a little man, and no, it does not look funny), I found myself tearing up with frustration. Frustration, I say, because rarely has so much talent been so needlessly squandered in Hollywood. Anybody who ever saw an episode of "In Living Color" or rented "I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka" or caught Marlon Wayans in "Requiem For A Dream" knows that there is talent running through the veins of the Wayans brothers. But do most people associate these things with the Wayans? Not now. Not after their resume has been consistently tarnished with such god-awful titles as "Scary Movie (1 & 2), "Dungeons & Dragons," "White Chicks," oh, and "Scary Movie 3."

I don't think that so much talent has been squandered right in front of the public eye since Wayne Huizenga refused to buy a decent running game for Dan Marino. What I really want to know is, why there hasn't been any accountablility from the public about all of this? Thanks to publications such as People, US Weekly, Sports Illustrated and The New York Times - not to mention websites too numerous to count - the American people are now empowered to faithfully berate and belittle the slightest faux pas of anyone even associated with someone famous (Nicole Richie is the Spokesperson for this social category. She will be giving a lecture entitled, "How To Embed Yourself In The Public Eye Like A Fork" at 4 o'clock thursday afternoon at the Chicago Hilton. Oh the irony.). Yet somehow, mysteriously, the Wayans brothers (Marlon and Shawn) have apparently been allowed free range in Hollywood to greenlight whatever horrid project they come up with. The lack of attention that has been shown to their deteriorating career by the American public is nothing less than shocking.

Where would Lance Armstrong be now if his wife (whom the a**hole left - the term "hero" is relative, btw. oh, and sheryl crow is gangly and unattractive - her head is 3 times too big for her emaciated body) hadn't forced him to get on a bike and ride for all he was worth? Where would Michael Jordan have ended up if he hadn't had coaches who criticized him and refused to let him on their squads? Where would Pete Rose have ended up if the public hadn't stepped in with the giant louisville slugger of justice? That's right - he'd be in the Hall Of Fame right now, much to the chagrin of old people everywhere. You see, it is the public's responsibility to provide these "famous" people with critiques and harangues about their failures and foibles. But the Wayans brothers have been ignored for far too long, much to the detriment of society. Would, for instance, the good people of New York allow their NBA team to continue to be run by a man who is generally considered to be the Basketball Antichrist? No way. Would the Minnesota Vikings allow Mike Tice to coach the entire 2005 season? Not a chance. Would the famed Fantasy Football team L.A. Bias allow GM George Edward LeBeau III to continue his reign of mediocrity? No way in hell. This is because the American public does its civic duty and sounds the alarm every time such egregious behaviors are made known. And this is what needs to happen to the Wayans brothers: the public needs to show some concern and let the Wayans know that we the people are not going to take their uninspired garbage any more. We have guys like Bode Miller to fill that gap. People who actually have talent should not be allowed to squander it in front of our collective eye without accountability. So join me - write to the Wayans and let them know that everything they have done in the last decade has sucked. Let them know that you're mad as hell, and you're not going to take it any more. Let them know that the American public cares.



Oh, and Quentin Tarantino is a film god.