MEMphis Belle

This is a first for the Village Tavern. While it may seem to revolve around sports, we have other intersts at the Village Tavern as well. Like movies! And although Ek promised a 'Rambo' review quite some time ago, this is the "VT's" first movie review...

I picked up this little dandy on DVD recently while I was at Best Buy with J-Lew and my boy JoNo. It’s the 1990 Theatrical release, ‘The Memphis Belle’. It’s a movie I remember watching as a kid, and always loving. This was largely because I was so fascinated with World War II history, and also because the B-17 Flying Fortress was one of the sweetest aircraft ever invented (only surpassed by the Lockheed P-58 Chain Lightning). The viewing of this DVD was the first time I had watched the movie in years, so I tried to approach it somewhat objectively, in order to offer a solid review.

What it's about:

A B-17 bomber crew on their 25th and final mission is sent to Bremen, Germany. Surrounded by the likes of ‘Sweet Dreams’, ‘Mother and Country’, ‘Mama’s Boys’, and ‘The Scintillating Virgin’, the crew of ‘The Memphis Belle’ is trying to become the first team to complete a full tour of duty as a bomber unit in the European Theatre. After this, they’re on their way back to the States to be “wined, women-ed and song-ed” as they give speeches and tour the entire country as a moral-raising event. But they have to survive their 25th Mission before they’ll get that chance…

Who’s in it that you should care about:

Billy Zane: Although probably more remembered for his breathtaking performance as ‘The Phantom’, this is definitely a fine performance from the man who Hansel once describe by saying, “he’s a cool dude”.
Harry Connick Jr.: Harry is trying to break the record for most roles with a forced musical performance as he continues to try to have a “slashie” career as an actor/singer. Add this one to the list of movies that help him in his quest.
John Lithgow: What a great name! And let’s be honest, who WOULDN’T want to watch a performance from the dad from ‘Harry and the Hendersons’. And to top it all off, he’s had a successful career with ‘Third Rock from the Sun’, and did a fantastic job of voice acting as Lord Farquaad in ‘Shrek’.
Sean Astin: I place this performance right behind the Oscar-caliber acting in ‘Rudy’ and 'The Goonies', but ahead of Astin’s performances as Samwise Gamgee (in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy) and the steroid using brother (Doug) from ‘50 First Dates’. That’s right, this movie is THAT good.

Best Line:
“Hey fellas, the target’s clouded over, we’re delayed”
“S-N-A-F-U, Situation-normal, all-fucked-up”
*Does Hollywood make these things up? Don’t get me wrong, it’s funny and it’s catchy, but between SNAFU and FUBAR, you almost have to wonder if anyone from World War II actually said those things.

Best Character:

Jack, the navigator, who is convinced that their mission has been jinxed by all the press and hype that John Lithgow’s character is generating as the Army PR guy assigned to their crew. He’s determined that even if the ‘Belle’ makes it, he’s a dead man. As a result he spends most of the movie drinking, and trying to give away all of his personal belongings. By the time they’re over Germany he’s given away his father's watch, a nice pen ("It's the best pen money can buy!"), and all his best baseball cards. But as the mission continues he'll play a pivotal role in saving the life of one of his fellow crew members.

DVD Features:

Is there anything better than first-generation DVD releases!? The double-sided releases, with widescreen on one side, full-screen on the other. Then you have the cheap card-board cases; clearly they hadn't mastered the format at the time. But I think the best feature of any old-school DVD (this one included) is the "JUMP TO A SCENE!" feature. As if the smaller format, along with the improved visual and audio quality weren't enough, you can jump to any scene you like! It's not that it isn't a great benefit of the format, it's jus the way it's presented. Like on the back, how it will say under "Special Features": Dolby 5.1, Interactive Menus (boo-yah!), Subtitles, and JUMP TO A SCENE!!! Maybe I'm the only one amused by this..

'The Memphis Belle' DVD has one other feature that makes it really worth the purchase. In case you finish the movie, and it's just not enough. Maybe you're looking for another movie to watch. Well imagine that, get a recommendation from the DVD itself! Search by actor, Producer and Genre (of course, it only shows movies on DVD from the same studio, but who needs to know that...). Classic stuff.

Rating: B+

This is overall a well above-average movie. It’s got action aplenty, a good story line, good and mostly believable characters and it’s well acted. It’s even based on a true story to boot (not to mention the loaded extra features). If you like war movies, if you like action, this is definitely worth checking out.

Rooting for the Bad Guys

I’m not sure when it really dawned on me. It might have been when I heard about adding payroll. It might have been when they added Jim Thome, giving up the (nationally) underappreciated Aaron Rowand, or when they picked up Javier Vazquez as part of their ongoing quest to prove Don Cooper’s superiority to the Yankee’s pitching coaches. But I think it really happened at the beginning of the season…the slow start, which was accompanied by everyone proclaiming the team dead, followed by going on a tear against overmatched opponents like the Royals and Tigers. Then I realized, “this is kind of how a lot of Yankees seasons start…

HOLY CRAP I’M ROOTING FOR AN EVIL BIG MARKET BASEBALL TEAM.”

The tricky thing is, I hated teams like this. I had a little bit of a soft spot for the Red Sox thanks to my dad, but I never liked that the Sox wouldn’t have a shot at any top level trade or free agent because of them, the Yanks, the Cubs, Cardinals, Mets, Indians for awhile, Angels, Braves, etc. (and yes, I’m aware that not all of those teams are even good anymore). Except now, we do.

But it’s more than that. It’s knowing that anything less than a Division Championship would be a complete failure, and also knowing that it would pretty much take a disaster to miss the playoffs…and it’s April. It’s also knowing that, if I wasn’t a Sox fan, I’d be sick of hearing how Mark Buehrle and Paul Konerko are such humble leaders and good guys, how everyone still loves Aaron Rowand, how Thome fits right in, or what crazy thing Ozzie Guillen said this week, or what a nut-case AJ Piersynewski is (I’m not checking the spelling. Just be glad I’m finally writing an article, ok? But AJ warrants his own column at some point. He’s also ramped up his crazy person persona this year by growing out his hair and having 1930s circus music play before his at bats. Ok, enough spoiling the future column).

And maybe the Sox Saturation isn’t that bad if you don’t live in Chicago. The whole country has had to deal with Yankees-Red Sox hype for years, even when neither team was defending a championship. Maybe the White Sox-Indians rivalry deserves some of the spotlight for awhile (although, please, everyone, I don’t like the Indians, and most Sox fans don’t, but please understand that the Twins are our rival. Not the Indians, not the Cubs. I don’t know a single non-Sox fan who really gets this. I’ll just say that when there were rumors about the Twins being contracted…well, I got a little bit excited). But it’s a bigger problem than competitive balance or talent monopolization. Teams like this are the reason that baseball is no longer the sport where you can spend $5 on upper-deck seats and wind up watching most of the game from the tenth row. It’s good for the game financially, but I still kind of miss that (even if I never did it myself).

The problem is, this is every medium-to-small market baseball fan’s dream: have the team take a couple of risks that pay off, get the right manager and the right group of guys, win the whole thing, and use the boost in attention to become a big market team indefinitely, like the Sox are doing now or the Angels did in 2002 (people forget that the Halos team that won it all was a bunch of no-names, although at least the team had a name people could recognize back then). And once you reach a certain age, your rooting interest in a team stops being conditional. If it’s true of teams that are crappy indefinitely, it’s also true when a team gets good and changes it’s identity into something you didn’t like before.

Looks like I’m coming to the Dark Side.

Ball Park Dogs

I’m on my way to becoming a baseball fan (collective gasp). There are two primary factors involved in this sudden and unforeseen turn of events.

The first reason is this little thing called “Fantasy Baseball”, you may have heard of it before. A few people are playing it now. And if fantasy sports have taught us anything, it’s that they can turn even the most indifferent sports fan into an interested onlooker (at the very least). And a mere week and a half into my first Fantasy Baseball season, I’m already liking baseball more and more. And even if I still don’t really enjoy it all that much, I have to have SOMETHING to fill the void between the end of March Madness and the start of the College and NFL Football seasons (and to break up the monotonous eternity that becomes the NBA Playoffs).

The second reason is inspired by my experience the other night. I had the opportunity to attend a Double-A Minor League game. Chattanooga’s very own Lookouts, versus the Mudcats from… some other city not big enough to have an MLB or even a Triple-A team… Anyways, it was the first game I had been to in a while, and it was fun.




I should note that the quality of my experience was much aided by the fact that my tickets were A) Free, and B) for a Box-suite. These tickets were provided, most graciously, by our team Doc. And so, never being the group to turn down anything free, our little group of Athletic Training students headed to the park. And let’s be honest, there’s always something especially “gratis-fying” about enjoying entertainment or fine dining on someone else’s tab (although I must admit I’ve been on the other end of this coin one too many times). When it’s Box-seats, it’s taken to a whole ‘nother level. Personal service, free chips and salsa, and an air-conditioned room with bar stools and tables sitting next to a column of sliding doors. Nothing quite like sitting in the open air with an air-conditioned room at your back (only in America my friends).

There are just a few things about going to the Park that can’t be fully explained, but since I’m writing this article, I guess I’ll have to try.

First off, you’ve got the foul balls. In his book, ‘Now I Can Die in Peace’, Bill Simmons of ESPN’s Page 2 has a segment where he talks about his experiences with foul balls. His lack of luck in ever catching one, certain sections of Fenway that are ideal for catching fly balls, etc. I understood what he was talking about it, but now I KNOW what he means.

As soon as a ball starts flying foul, there is a kid-like desire awoken inside of anyone with a pulse that makes us all want to be the one to catch it. But with our suite being behind and to the right of home plate, and under the overhanging roof, I thought our chances were slim-to-none of seeing a foul ball. In fact, I explained to my boy JoNo that the angle between the roof and the net shielding the crowd made the chances almost incalculable small. “We’re not getting any foul balls up here (in our sweet-suite seats)”, I confidently explained.

Seconds later, a foul ball pops into the stands 10 fee to our left, at the same level as our seats. Luck.

I raise my eyebrows and pretend it never happened.

Two innings later the unthinkable happens. A ball comes slicing off a home-team bat and spins just over the netting and under the roofing directly for our suite. By the time we see it coming it’s too late. Disaster strikes! One of our friends, Erin, gets hit smack dab in the head by the foul ball. Thankfully it’s a glancing blow that is mostly absorbed by here sun-glasses. Irony.

Now the Dictionary in my Sweet-Mac defines irony as: ‘a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result’. Well, I define irony as: ‘A fly ball hitting a friend of mine in the head minutes after I explain how impossible the angle would have to be, and when the group of people in attendance happens to consist of 15 Athletic Training students and one Certified Athletic Trainer.’

Moments later a stadium worker comes up to make sure she’s okay, at this point we’ve given here five Cranial Nerve tests and 3 complete concussion evaluations, but thanks for asking…

There’s another thing about being at the park that makes it memorable, beyond the actual events of the game. There’s the camaraderie, and the enjoyment of recently created inside jokes (which may or may not be funny).

Like when the Lookouts hit a long, hard ball directly to center. The ball hits 2/3 of the way up the green wall at center field that inexplicably sits 8 Feet higher than the rest of the wall, and Rickie and I simultaneously exclaim, “Stopped by the Green-Monster!”

“The Green Monster” we echo ourselves… “Anywhere but Fenwa…. Er… BELL SOUTH PARK!” I add as we crack up at ourselves!


And then there’s always the personal attack on players. This is especially fun at a Minor-League game because no one knows any of the players before you get to the park. So all of your jokes are guaranteed to be original (even if they don’t even approach being truly funny) to the audience present.

“Votto, your BOY!” I joke with JoNo as the first batter comes to the plate (and yes, I got this habit from you, Lewis).

“What, just because his name ends in vowel, he’s my boy?!” says JoNo defensively, thinking I was making a joke about his Italian heritage, when in reality I just felt like saying something… (it should be noted that later Gary Patchett would become my boy because it sounded like a nice, white-christian name).

But my personal favorite player had to be Alex Sanchez (you know where this is going). Not afraid to approach the racial line, I immediately start to muse about the possibility of his nickname being Alex “Dirty” Sanchez. This of course evolves into “Deer-tay” (as in Joe Deer-tay) and the Legend is born. Every time we go to a Lookouts game this summer (and hopefully we’ll get a few more games in the box seats!), we’ll remember our boy Alex “Deer-tay” Sanchez. That’s just another day at the park for you.

And so what I have learned from this experience, which has produced an almost three-page article for this fine sports-forum? Sometimes you had to be there. And in baseball’s case, you USUALLY had to be there. But when you give it the opportunity (or when the opportunity is handed to you), it’s an experience worth having. So beg, burrow, buy or schmooze a ticket. Grab yourself a dog and even (gasp!) a beer, and take yourself out to the ball game…

A New Leaf

Anyone who knows my college roommate David Michael Yates, you are probably already familiar with one of his most pathetic, yet endearing habits. Yates, being the upright man of principle that he his… let me rephrase. Him imagining himself to be an upright man of principle, but instead being the weasel-ie inconsistent man that he is, he often has resolutions to “turn over a new leaf”. It’s a noble concept, one that everyone should partake of more often than simple the first two weeks after New Year’s every January. Unfortunately for Yates, he indefinitely fails in his new resolutions, and often in exceedingly short periods of times.

Take, for example, his diets. Like the time, I think it was Sophomore or Junior year, when he became a vegetarian. I’m not a big fan of vegetarianism. It’s just not for me. I tend to follow the “I didn’t climb all the way to the top of the food chain to NOT eat meat” line of thinking. But if you can pull it off, more power to you I guess. That is, if you have a good reason. In Yates’ case, it was to shed a few pounds (before a show). Not a good reason. The thing that made it even more ironic, was when on Day 2 of the diet, I see him in the cafeteria (ah, Saga) eating a salad, some fruit, and a chicken breast… Now I realize some people consider this okay on a vegetarian diet, but please explain to me how “not eating meat” is consistent with eating chicken? If you don’t want to eat beef, or fish, or pork, but you’re fine with eating chicken, that’s fine (whatever floats your boat). But, YOU ARE NOT A VEGETARIAN. You’re someone who eats primarily vegetables, some chicken, and doesn’t eat red meat (or fish, or pork).

So of course, Yates drops the “I’m allowing myself to eat chicken” line. Typical Yates. So much for that new leaf, especially when within another day I catch him eating a hamburger (“I was treating myself for being so good on my new diet” was his excuse this time). In other words Yates sucks at resolutions.

But doesn’t everybody? That’s my point. Without having an extremely strong will, some strong external motivation (i.e. you have high blood pressure, and you might die if you don’t lose weight), or divine intervention, it’s very hard to change something in your life. The only way you really stand a chance is having some accountability to make those changes. People need something like an accountability partner, a little thing that we like to call a “running partner” at Honey Rock Camp. Or as Yates like’s to call it, a “Running RP Partner”. And yes, the RP on that still stands for running partner (how did I live for 4 years with someone so thick-headed?).

So here’s the thing. The Village Tavern is in trouble. The last post was made on March 11th. The NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament wasn’t even enough to get us to write something. That’s sad. No, it’s pathetic. I know I’ve been busy (and I’ve also posted 4 out of the last 6 articles, not that anyone’s keeping count). I know Ekwall now has a girlfriend. And I know James is… between jobs, what the heck is your excuse Puta James?! Anyways…

We need to keep each other accountable. We have readers out there. At least 4 or 5 of them. And according to our hit-counter, there have been “2047 Readers who aren’t Sam Cassell, and therefore can’t do the testicle dance”. So, I’m challenging the writers of this fine blog. What’s keeping us from making one post every other week? That would give us a minimum of 6 posts a month. That should fit into our schedules, and also keep our small, though fiercely loyal, readership coming back. Come on guys, let’s turn over a new leaf, let’s keep the Village Tavern alive…