Through the Eyes of Madness

Last weekend, I got a chance to check out the first round games at the United Center. While I’ve always been more of an NBA fan, that’s definitely not something I’m going to pass up. Here’s what I observed:

UNLV-Gtech

The first thing I noticed, even before the game had started, was how numerous and loud UNLV’s fan section was. Although it makes since as the Rebs are the only game in town there (ok, the only real sports team), I didn’t know they had that big of a fan base. And other than Wisconsin, they had by far the best fan section for Friday. This is particularly impressive for two reasons:

#1) UNLV was by far the furthest school from Chicago playing at the United Center. With the possible exception of Georgia Tech, every other school there was within reasonable road-trip distance. If you’re going from Las Vegas to Chicago, you’re either buying a plane ticket, or it’s your major vacation for the year. Which brings me to point

#2) For every other area represented here, Chicago could be viewed as a destination city. I could see people from Wisconsin, Kansas, or Kentucky thinking “sweet, we’ll go down and see our team, and hang out in Chicago on the off day.” But people from Vegas were probably thinking: “man, this town’s lame. Not only is it cold after dark, but almost everything is closed by, like, four in the morning!”

Anyway, UNLV wound up being the more likable team, despite the fact that they were bobbling passes, rebounds, and dribbles so much that I thought they were playing with an NBA ball from the first half of this season. Additionally, GTech’s point guard, and thereby their whole offense, was borderline painful to watch. It was like watching Stephon Marbury, Gilbert Arenas, or Jamal Crawford, except if they weren’t natural scorers. In fact, the most impressive point guard in this game was the one that went 0-8 (it was ugly), and Tech lost largely due to the 5 second-rule being called on their PG. This is called so rarely that I feel compelled to explain that it is not the alternate version of the ten second rule used in areas that aren’t vacuumed regularly, but instead a rule created to prevent players from aimlessly dribbling or holding the ball for long periods of time while they’re being defended (note: I am pretty sure that the NBA has secretly disbanded this rule, as I see a borderline one at least twice in every game, and haven’t seen one called in the last five years).

Texas A&M CC-Wisconsin

This had the feel initially of one of those NCAA games you always want to be at. Wisconsin, a rare #2 seed absolutely nobody liked to make the Final Four, was playing the Texas A&M Corpus Cristi Islanders. It makes sense, since Texas is known for it’s many glorious islands. Anyway, the Islanders reminded me of one of the teams Globo Gym would have played in the first two rounds in “Dodgeball:” They’re mascot was a guy in a hula skirt with a Tiki mask (which is somehow less offensive than Chief Illiniwek), the cheerleaders had their skirts cut to look like grass skirts, and instead of the “#1” foam finger, they had foam hands shaped in the Hawaiian “hang loose” sign. Totally awesome, I know. Anyway, they got out to an early lead with a borderline reckless, Phoenix Suns-esque attack, and a center that Wisconsin had absolutely no idea how to defend (Chris Daniels, and yes, he’s actually on my under-the-radar NBA watch now).

In the second half, Wisconsin started their inevitable comeback. It was like being at a Wisconsin home game because of the crowd, and I always dislike it when one set of fans overwhelms the other at a “neutral” site for no reason other than geographic proximity. Wisconsin also reminds me of the 92-95 Knicks that threatened to destroy the NBA during its Golden Age, except without an inside presence anything like Patrick Ewing. They essentially have two scorers and a bunch of hackers out there, and the basic strategy is that you’ll get better calls if you commit several more fouls than the other team, since most officials want to call an “even” game. Anyway, one of their scorers, Cameron Taylor (note: just because his parents are terrible at spelling, doesn’t mean I have to be, too) saved them in the second half, after being completely non-existent in the first. Naturally, once Wisconsin catches up, the game is pretty much over, since the Islanders were gassed and only went about four deep. At the end of the game, I’m pretty disappointed about not getting to see the historic upset, however, I feel great about having picked Wisconsin to lose the next game. Also, MJ was at the game, which was cool. It’s strange that it’s still a little bit thrilling, even to the people in their 50s and 60s with us, to be in the same building with that guy.

Between games, we got out for lunch. Shockingly, there’s no Bulls/Blackhawks bar in the immediate vicinity – the only place to eat nearby is a Chinese take-out place that appears to specialize in egg rolls, pork fried rice, and heroin (note: I am reminded of the Hawks existence because we went by the Blackhawks statue on the way in and out from the parking lot. It includes a group of five old-timey looking hockey players on the front, and a long list of names on the side. I didn’t get a chance to read the names, but it took up an entire side of the statue, so I assume it is a list of everyone that has coached the ‘Hawks since the last time they won the Stanley Cup). We wind up walking five blocks to a Popeye’s, but somebody is going to make a mint opening a place like that up by the UC someday.

Niagra-Kansas

As expected, this wasn’t the most thrilling game, although the Purple Eagles were actually able to stay in it for the first ten minutes or so. Kansas looks really, really, scary good this year though – probably the best college team I’ve seen play since Ben Gordon and Emeka Okafor’s UConn team won it. They have four guys that look like they’ll be decent NBA players and about six other very solid contributors, and unlike most basketball teams with substantial individual scoring talent, they actually all play great team basketball on offense, both in the halfcourt and on fastbreaks. Since there wasn’t that much suspense going on in the court, we entertained ourselves by watching Illinois lead Virginia Tech for their entire game, then lose by two and mess up a perfect first round for the Big Ten. We later heard that they missed three free throws that could have iced the game. Feels like an appropriate end to this season for the Illini, actually.

Kentucky-Villanova

For the last game on Friday, we got to watch the Kentucky Wildcats against the Villanova…um…wild…cats. The mascots actually looked exactly the same, except that Kentucky’s cat wore a blue jersey, while Villanova’s wore white (by the way, Kentucky was in the home whites for this game. Confused yet?) Adding to the unintentional comedy was the fact that both sets of fans had C-A-T-S chants, and that both mascots actually looked a lot like Will Ferrel’s mascot costume from Old School. Anyway, I was thinking this would be the best chance I’d have in a long time to actually see two mascots fight at a game, but no such luck. Maybe Benny the Bull threatened to have his prison buddies step in if they tried to start anything.

This was actually the best game we saw Friday, both in terms of being relatively close throughout and of being played well, but there wasn’t a ton that jumps out. Neither team so much as attempted a fast break, but both were actually running offenses for most of the game, so there was still a natural flow. I think Scottie Reynolds is going to put up some great numbers for a thirty-win NBA team someday, though. And after watching the Bulls during the Tim Floyd-Bill Cartwright era, when they had seven or eight of those players at a time, I can pretty much spot them immediately now.

On to Sunday’s games…

Wisconsin-UNLV

Not only do I have UNLV winning this game, but I’m really starting to dislike the Badgers as a team. While the fans aren’t really any more obnoxious than the fans of any other team, they’re all over the place today, and I somehow can’t disassociate them from Packers fans, even though I know multiple Badgers fans from Chicago. They also do something resembling the Florida Gator chomp/clap, which makes sense since Badgers are known for crushing things with their powerful jaws, and had to all yell “suck!” after the UNLV fans chanted “Reeeeeebuuuullls.” That’s what I love about Wisconsin sports fans. They’re so intellectual. (Random question: If the UNLV Rebels were the South Carolina Rebels, would they have been forced to change their mascot by now?)

Anyway, I’m tired from being out on St. Patrick’s Day and taking people to the airport at 3:30 the night before, and I’m starting to think that while a deep run in the NFL, NHL, NBA, or even MLB playoffs takes more out of the players involved, there’s probably no tournament in sports more grueling for the fans than March Madness. I haven’t seen a vegetable all weekend, and if I hear another barely recognizable classic rock cover from a pep band, I might punch someone. All that said, it looks like the Wisconsin players were out later than me for St. Patrick’s Day, as they get off to their second consecutive horrible start, except that UNLV is actually used to playing decent teams and has some shooters, so they don’t really get a chance to catch up.

Kansas-Kentucky

Impressive showing by the Kansas fans for this game. While they weren’t very well-represented in round one, this felt like being at a Kansas home game, only in this case, it made me like the team more since Chicago is actually a legitimate neutral site for Kansas-Kentucky. Once Kansas starts pulling away in this one, I keep myself entertained with the following:

- Looking for Ashley Judd in the Kentucky fan section (no luck in either of Kentucky's games).
- Watching Randolph Morris on Kentucky play. Since I don’t pay attention to prospects before the NCAA tournament (other than the ones that absolutely can’t be ignored), I don’t really know if he’s planning to come out, or where he’s supposed to go in the draft, but this guy is an absolutely perfect fit for the Bulls right now. He’s a big guy that can score around the basket in multiple ways and get the other team’s bigs in foul trouble, which is exactly what they don’t have right now. He also runs the floor well, seems like he knows what’s going on on offense and defense (which is both more important and less teachable than NBA teams seem to think), and is enough of an inside presence that you could play him at the 4 or even 5 in the NBA without getting killed defensively.
- Watching USC annihilate Texas, which effectively killed my chances to win my pool (more because UNC is a lock for the Elite Eight now than anything else). Even though this was the exception, now would be a good time to point out what a lame and predictable tournament it’s been this year. I’m having one of my best brackets in years – through two rounds, only one of my Elite Eight teams is out and my Final Four is untouched – and I’m tenth in my 14-person pool, which includes one guy that forgot to fill his bracket out. And honestly, it would take a borderline miracle to finish in the top five. I think anyone’s bracket accuracy stats for this season have to be taken with a grain of salt, just like baseball power stats during the late 90’s, or NFL offensive numbers over the last four years or so.
- Finding out that Tim Floyd is the coach of USC and being even more shocked that they beat Texas. This proves that it’s impossible to beat an even half-decent team in any pressure situation if you have a bad coach and a bad point guard. It’s true in college, it’s true in the NBA, and it’s true in high school.
- Also, during this game, the NCAA was running a “greatest NCAA athletes” promo on the Jumbotron, and showed an MJ highlight clip which was predominantly Bulls highlights from the late 80’s and early 90’s. Not only was the highlight clip amazing, but afterwards, people realized that Jordan was at this game, as well, and gave him a standing ovation. (New random question: Does MJ buy a ticket to events at the United Center, or does he just walk up to the gate and say, “Hi, I’m the guy that the statue over there is of, do you think I can get in to catch a little of the game?”) But anyway, any day I can go to the United Center and give MJ a standing ovation is a good day.

The final verdict – I went 6-0 in the games I saw, didn’t get to see any crazy buzzer beaters, but did see multiple good games, and got to see a great team playing at its best. In fact, the only saving grace for my Florida over Kansas pick is that Kansas always somehow blows it in the tournament….so with any luck, maybe I’ll make that top five after all.