Imagine the Possibilities...

Sports are a funny thing…I can’t believe how much I hated baseball two years ago, after the horrific nightmare that the 2003 NLCS and ALCS, and how much I love it now. Rooting for a team that wins a championship in a major sport is a difficult feeling to describe. In this case, the series wasn’t especially dramatic, so there wasn’t a real moment of shock…it’s just a warm, happy feeling that doesn’t completely go away for a whole year. I think it comes from the realization that you can make fun of anyone else’s favorite team, and there’s really nothing they can come back with. In fact, your friends who are fans of the team’s rivals and teams that they beat in the playoffs probably won’t even give you crap about non-sports related things, for fear that you might bring it up. Since fans aren’t really involved in winning the title, I’ve decided that’s pretty much it.

It was a little tough deciding what angle to take when describing the best sports moment of my adult life. I couldn’t really compare it to either of the Bulls dynasties, that would be like choosing which of my relatives is my favorite or deciding whether childhood is better than adulthood…there’s just no decision you can make that you feel totally ok with. It also wouldn’t be right to write about my favorite players on this team…the way that this team was, it wouldn’t seem fair to credit any one player, or even three or four players. Heck, even just giving credit to the playoff roster wouldn’t capture all of it, since it’s entirely possible that the White Sox wouldn’t have won the division without getting 34 games out of the Big Hurt (by the way, the Sox were 24-10 in games that Thomas appeared in and, more importantly, the lead in the division went from three and a half games to eleven in just over a month while he was healthy) and multiple solid starts from Brandon McCarthy.

If I was going to give credit to any one person, it’d be Kenny Williams, who over the past two years has added Ozzie Guillen, Juan Uribe, Tadahito Iguchi, Carl Everett (a couple times), AJ (we’re trying to cut down on spelling errors so I won’t attempt the last name), Scott Podsednik, Jermaine Dye, World Series hero Geoff Blum, Dallas Municipal Softball League All-Star Chris Widger, Jorge Contreras, Freddy Garcia, Orlando Hernandez, Cliff Politte, Dustin Hermanson, Bobby Jenks, and Luis Vizcaino – with a couple of exceptions the core of a championship team - and the only truly significant players lost were Carlos Lee and Magglio Ordonez. He did this without making even one trade with Isaiah Thomas or the Vikings front office. Wow.

However, I will say that I was not completely sure that I was ever going to see a White Sox Championship (or even a World Series game in Chicago, for that matter) in my lifetime, and it happened. This has made me more optimistic that the following things, which I also doubted would ever happen in my life, will someday take place:

The Yankees will finish a season behind the Devil Rays.

The Yankees will have a lower payroll than the Devil Rays.

There will be a minor accident on a major Chicago-area interstate and, once both cars are on the shoulder, everyone else will keep driving at a decent pace as if nothing was out of the ordinary, because after all, the part of the road that they are allowed to drive on is completely unaffected.

There will be a college football team that everyone accepts as both the best team in the country and a legitimate national champion.

It won’t be a team from the ACC, SEC, Pac-10, or any conference with the word “Big” in its name, and it won’t be Notre Dame.

Ok, forget that last one; that’s just absurd. We’ll change it to “it won’t be a team ranked in the top five in the first poll.”

I will go to Best Buy and not wait in line at all when I check out.

Another restaurant (or, for that matter, any type of business) will open in Wheaton that is open for dine-in until at least midnight during the week.

All right, we’ll settle for not in the top three in the first poll.

The Bears will acquire a quarterback who doesn’t make me cringe every time he throws a football, and he will go through at least two seasons in a row without a major injury.

At some point there will be a Cubs manager, Bears coach, or Blackhawks GM that manages not to be hated by the entire city of Chicago by the time they retire or leave town.

The NHL lockout will end (remember that in Chicago the NHL Lockout has been going on since the late 1990s).

An NFL player, instead of getting away with killing someone, will commit a minor crime that an average person with a decent attorney could probably get away with, actually go to prison for it, and cause potentially irreparable damage to their career….and it won’t damage my fantasy team’s season.

Speaking of my fantasy team, Joe Horn, Darrell Jackson, and Cadillac Williams will all play in the same week.

Daunte Culpepper will break George Blanda’s record for interceptions in a season (it’s 42…and although he was on Houston at that time, he also played for the Bears during his career. The career record, also Blanda’s, by the way, is 277. CPepp is at 86, so he’d probably have to play into his 40s and have a couple of 30+ INT seasons to do it. It would be fun if he started getting close and they showed a “chasing Blanda” graphic on Sports Center every time they show him throwing a pick, like they’ve been doing with Barry Bonds home runs recently).

I will watch an entire football game and not see any penalties called on special teams play.

The Cubs will win the World Series. (Ok, that one was too crazy. How about back-to-back winning seasons, or even back-to-back seasons without making a team-killing trade?)

The White Sox will outdraw the Cubs.

The Saints will actually WIN a game because of a stupid penalty, missed PAT, silly turnover, or bad call.

Alex Rodriguez will come through for the Yankees in a big playoff game, but Derek Jeter will do something to mess it up.

Isaiah Thomas will trade for a young, underpaid player who isn’t a head case, is medically fit to play basketball, and listens to his coaches.

An entire year will go by without any roads that I can see from my house or office going under construction. This will be because the previous year all state construction projects were completed well ahead of schedule, and they just went ahead and finished up the next year’s projects as well.

I will contribute to a website that gets over 1000 hits (per three months).

The Bulls will have a perrenial all-star at the 2 guard position who doesn't get compared to Michael Jordan and isn't white.

Some other NBA team will have a perrenial all-star at the 2 guard position who doesn't get compared to Michael Jordan and isn't white.

Jon Lewis will contribute to a website that gets over 1000 hits (per three months).

I will find a solid, bible-believing church that openly schedules its services around the local NFL team’s games, or at least shows them on one of the screens on stage when the service runs over (it can be on mute…).

The superstar athlete as we now know it will disappear forever (stay tuned…).

The White Sox will win the World Series again.


It’s hard not to get greedy when good things start happening, isn’t it?

Fantasy Football's most robust performers...

I don’t believe in dualism. Let me just get that out there; there is not a great evil force and a great good force fighting for domination of the Universe. Well, at least, the great evil force and good force are not on equal footing. I believe there is a God, and a devil, but the devil is just one of God’s creations who thought he was better than everyone else. Why the theological/philosophical diatribe you ask? Because, when it comes to one area in this universe, I believe dualism exists. You’re intrigued, aren’t you? Let me explain…
In this world there are two types of (straight) men. There are bust men, and there are butt men. It’s really that simple. I do not know any more simple or more accurate way of dividing men into classes (actually they are more like casts, once you are one, you can never change). Now, don’t get me wrong here, it’s not that bust men don’t appreciate a nice looking rear end (hind sight is, after all, 20/20), or that butt men can’t enjoy the visual beauty of a girl with more “upside”. There are even some non-committal type males out there that would wimpishly say “I’m both”, or “I don’t really have a preference one way or another, I’m kinda into both”. This is, of course, hogwash. Every man is, at the deepest center of his being, one or the other. There is no gray, only black and white.

I AM A BUST MAN! I can’t deny it. I don’t know if I was born that way, or somehow socially sculpted into being a bust man. Maybe it’s a European thing (though my research would suggest otherwise). I don’t know why, I just know that I am. It’s just my general preference. “I am therefore I am”. I think that covers it. And so, in honor of my appearance preference, and in honor of the virtual midpoint of the fantasy football season, I’m doing an all-bust team article extravaganza! And no matter what you personal preference, I think you’ll be able to find something enjoyable about my way of breaking down the fantasy football landscape…

BUSTS: to all those players out there who have taken pre-season expectations and turned them into a figurative metaphor represented by a big field, and then run out to the middle of that field, dropped their shorts, and taken a big fat dump on it. That’s right, I just put that mental picture into your head!
Daunte Culpepper: This man has been the embodiment of the Fantasy Football bust. The Pamela Anderson or Dolly Parton of busts, if you will. He was a keeper in one of my leagues, and a 2nd overall pick in the other (note: for other teams, not my own teams). Similar expectations awaited him in leagues across America, and he has proceeded to have a season that can be explained best by one word: HORRID!!! And it should be noted, that I have always insisted Daunte was not a good QB. But it should also be noted that I still expected him to put up pretty good fantasy numbers (even if not wins for the Vikings) this year. But who could have known it would be this bad, right?!
Kevin Jones: After a strong finish to the ’04 season, Kevin came into this year with high expectations. He was considered a 1000 yd lock, and seemed to have legitimate 1500 yd potential. Averaging over 3 yards a carry would be nice…
Jamal Lewis: For the last two years, Lewis has been consistently dumping at mid-field. Except, for the nine months prior to the season started, as Ek likes to point out, he was taking a dump into a small bucket in the corner of a 6x6 cell…
Cedric Benson: Considering Thomas Jones was completely written off after the draft, and Benson was basically being fed the starting job with a spoon, expectations were high for young Cedric (it is taking great restraint to not make a joke about Benson being a Texas product and Ricky Williams look alike right here). He then proceeded to have the longest holdout of all rookies, and fail to get off the bench.
Andre Johnson: Wow! I mean, many people thought he’d be their #1 reciever this year. Instead, through week 7 he has: 10 catches for 76 yards and no Touchdowns. Ouch…
Tony Gonzalez: No TD’s and no 100 yard games for the all-world TE. Not what you hope to get from a guy you pick around pick 35 and expect to give you a leg up on anyone at the TE matchup each week.
Joey Harrington: Somehow, there were people out there who thought he’d get it done this season.
Peyton Manning: it’s hard to meet expectations after throwing 49 TD’s in one year (FORTY-NINE TOUCHDOWNS!), but Peyton has failed to come close. He’s winning games, and its almost as if he is more concerned about cementing his position as “the greatest player ever to don a football jersey” by winning that elusive first championship, than helping something like 75% of his owners win their fantasy football championships. I know, I thought it was odd as well.
Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Brandon Stokley: See Peyton Manning.
Ahman Green: I saw this one coming. No O-line, and he’s not that good anymore, bad combination.
Roy Williams: this Texas product managed to get through the supposedly scrutinizing NFL Draft process with high grades, and no one noticed that A) He never even had a decent game against Oklahoma in the Red River Shootout, and B) he’s always hurt! How do you miss those two things?! Oh, the Lions drafted him, I get it… Oh yeah, and he’s stunk this season…

BUSTING OUT: For all those players who were either considered over the hill, or not quite ready to make an impact, who have taken expectations, said “what do those nerds know anyways” and proceeded to have great years.
Santana Moss: He’s becoming the next Eric Moulds, awesome every other year, just don’t draft him after a good year. Well, 2005 has been a very good year…
Plaxico Burress: Everybody said he dropped too many balls, had a bad attitude, and often heard footsteps. All of these things are true. He’s also 6’6”, has good speed, and is playing with Eli Manning.
Eli Manning: Has gone from a kid standing in the pocket and throwing off his back foot all the time to avoid getting drilled (after every play, showing what I believe the Sports Guy coined, “the Eli face”), to one of the better QB’s in the league. Not bad.
Edgerrin James: Nice to see he’s finally back from that ACL surgery 5 yrs ago. Having a great contract year…
LDT: He’s doing his best Priest Holmes impersonation right now, pouring on the Touchdowns.
Steve Smith: I was totally wrong about this guy. He’s a stud.
Stephen Davis: I was totally right about this guy: Best 15th round pick, EVER!
Carson Palmer: Despite a bad game against Pittsburgh, having an outstanding year, and pulling #85 Chad Johnson in tow.
Warrick Dunn: No matter what YOU think of little Warrick Dunn, he’s getting the job completed.
Thomas Jones: see Cedric Benson’s story.

COMbustABLES: Players who have been up and down, explosive and equally ready to implode at any give time.
Willie Parker: Early indications were that he was pure bust-out material. But with Bettis’ return, he’s has become and will evolve to become even more unpredictable.
Randy Moss: No one every was wrong when they called him the most explosive WR in the league, he’s just not the best…
Tatum Bell/Mike Anderson: Who knows what you’re gonna get from these two, or who’s going to give it to you.
Shaun Alexander: This isn’t a slight. Shaun Alexander will, single handedly win you 4-5 games a year. But he’s also wildly unpredictable, and will leave you wondering why he can’t perform closer to those monstrous performance every week.

BUSTING AT THE SEAMS: Players who I think about take their recently improved performances and turn in a great second half.
Curtis “My Favorite” Martin: Call it wishful thinking (yeah, I have him) but he’s been much better the last two weeks, and he gets 1000 yds every year. This leaves him with quite a task ahead of him the rest of the year on out, but I think this ageless wonder, unlike his newest QB counterpart, is up to the challenge of defying age and surpassing the not-as-impressive-as-it-used-to-be 1000 yd barrier once again.
Willis McGahee: There has been nothing bad about his performances thus far. But I feel a big second half coming on for this Miami product.
Ronnie Brown: The talk is all about Ricky’s return, and Ronnie has been very up and down so far. But it will soon be very clear who’s job this is, and Ronnie could be legitimate keeper material come season’s end.

BUSTED: Players who were expected to make a big impact, and whose seasons are done (or players who have spent the majority of this season on the bench due to injury).
Deuce McAllister: Though I think the saints rushing attack is actually better without him, many a fantasy owner will lament the day this bowl movement’s season went down the pipes…
Joe Horn: Not necessarily done for the year, but nagging hamstring injuries have a way of ruining the years of WR’s (and could the Saints have any worse luck this year? Katrina, the injuries, AND having Jim Haslett as a Head Coach!).
Javon Walker: Done before his season began, unfortunately for many fantasy owners, his injury didn’t come before they had used a high draft pick to get his services!
Brian Griese: Who thought he’d be a significant fantasy player to go down to injury? The field is limited to those who actually thought Griese would have a good year, so if more than one person comments with a yes (which basically means I will believe you, and you only Lew), I’m calling them a liar.

PERRENIAL BUSTS: Players who have the special gift of getting our hopes up year in and year out, and always coming up well short of the mark.
Michael Bennett: My theory is that he organized the love cruise. Knowing his career with the Vikings was done at season’s end, and since the Vikings RB situation has been a frustrating mess for years, he decided to ruin the entire organization’s reputation as a parting gift. Thankfully, the Vikings have Mike “anyone can pilot a ship when the water is nice and you have a Pina Colada in your hand” Tice as their coach. Actually Mike, drinking and driving is illegal, even at the high seas, and that sends a bad image to the kiddies out there. And probably inspired the idea for a sex cruise in the first place…
Todd Heap: He’s STILL considered one of the best TE’s in the league, but what has he done? Not enough to make it on my draft board…
Joey Harrington: The only person to make an appearance on both the “BUST” and “PERRENIAL BUST” lists. That’s quite an honor “Joe”, but you’ve earned it.
Kevan Barlow: Someone has to run the ball in San Francisco, right? That doesn’t mean someone will be gaining yards when they run the football though.
Michael Vick: Whatever happened to the “Mike Vick” name change thing? He routinely goes 3 rounds before he should go as a “reach”, and was a keeper in our league this year over Julius Jones and Tiki Barber. Until he as a season with over 1,000 yds rushing, 3,500 yds passing, 35 total TD’s, and a percentage of over 50% of his completions going to his Wide Receivers, he will always be a bust in my mind…

A Nachorific return!

Okay, so being a graduate student isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. On second thought, I’m not sure it was ever billed as being a great life experience, but I just wanted to avoid saying that grad school sucks as an opener. Oh well, foget it… take two!

GRAD SCHOOL SUCKS! There, I said it. I no longer have time for the important things in life. Video games, movie marathons, and of course the Village Tavern blog. So here I am, making a not really all that triumphant return to the blog. But, since I have to contribute somehow, it’s my turn for a “nacho-rama” article. So here is…

Okay, so I worked a volleyball game today, and I noticed a few things about the sport of volleyball, from stupid rules to cultural experiences, and here they are.
1. It’s the only sport I know where taunting the opponent is fully acceptable. After each made point, teams huddle and do a little group cheer which may range from coordinated clapping pattern to a dance that looks like the naughty bird. In the NFL, that’s a 15 yard penalty, and a $10K fine, and in the NBA it’d be a technical foul. But in volleyball, it’s just a part of the ceremonies. Then again, with how absurd the NFL has become on this point, maybe this is not such a bad thing.
2. Okay, I still can’t figure out those spandex shorts! Are they really necessary? I mean, if basketball players can wear both jerseys and shorts that are 6 sizes too large and still perform at a high level, couldn’t they at least wear normal shorts (with spandex underneath if they want to)?
3. There is a position called the “lebaro” that isn’t allowed to leave the ground. They are basically there to get digs (the term for when you make a nice save, and yes, they keep nationwide stats on this) It’s like if the NBA created a rule stating that each team, on any given play, must have at least one player under six feet tall on the floor. Actually, it’s even more like co-ed intramural sports, which has rules stating how many females must be playing at all times.
4. Girls can jump. There is still something just a little bit different about it, but it happens and it works. Who would have thought…

I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but Laguna Beach: The Real O.C. is really well edited…

Can you imagine you were in a 10 person Fantasy Golf league? How much would it suck to pick fourth in that league? “With the first pick, ‘Niksdominators’ select Tiger woods”, heads nod and mutters of “good pick” echo around the room. “With the second pick, ‘four!!!’ selects Vijay Singh”. Most people agree this was the right pick, though his age has a few people in the room worried. ‘four!!!’ owner Tom insists he would have taken Vijay number one if he had that pick. By the time the third pick come around ‘baggervance’ does the safe thing and selects Lefty. I mean, you have to go Michelson here, right? “That’s a great pick if you want to finish in the middle of the pack every year” mutters Justin, owner of ‘chicks did the long ball’. He’s right, but you know he’d still take Phil if he got the chance. And then it happens, Tim the owner of ‘tim’s cup’ blurts out from the back of the room, “damn”. He was hoping that one of the big three would fall to him, and it finally sunk in that his team is screwed. Now he’s left with the big decision. Does he go Annika Sorenstam? Or if this is a keeper league, does he take a gamble on Michelle Wie? Ahh, maybe this is why there isn’t fantasy golf… (editors note: as it turns out, there is fantasy golf, wow!)

Okay, so the NFL Network’s whole add campaign is centered around the slogan “Imagine the Possibilities”. Right off the bat, there are two problems with this. First, anyone reading this article who has ever watched NFL Network, raise your hand… anyone?... I thought not. You basically have to have NFL Sunday Ticket from DirecTV to get it. And if you have Sunday Ticket, why would you watch NFL Network? Secondly, maybe people are tired of imagining the possibilities, when, for anyone who ever HAS watched, that’s exactly what you have to do, imagine. Great idea, poor execution (although I must admit the most recent ad is pretty good, highlighted by the “Big Game Hunting with Torry “Big Game” Holt plug)…


As an Athletic Trainer (well, soon enough I will be), I couldn’t make this next post without mentioning the injury that happened a few weeks ago to Alabama Wide Receiver Tyrone Prothro. For anyone who hasn’t seen it already, here it is. For anyone who doesn’t understand what happened here, let me explain. His Tibia and Fibula bones snapped in half (and were coming through the skin). This means that not only does he do enough to break the bone, but he managed to break them in half, leaving the marrow, veins and arteries all in seriously bad shape. There also no fewer than 12 muscles and three major nerves running through there, which, on top of the tissue damage done to them, will greatly atrophy during the course of his recovery. In other words, Crimson Tide or no Tide, I wish this guy the best of luck in his rehab.

Okay, that’s all I got. Not spectacular, I know, but I will try to get another, more well planned post up soon. Until then, enjoy your nachos…

Hey Hey, Let’s (re)Play, Too

Watching the White Sox dismantling of the Angels was not only the best experience of my life as a baseball fan to this point, it also taught me several things:

1) The White Sox starting rotation isn’t good. Even calling it great doesn’t quite do it justice. It’s better than I thought it would be during my most optimistic moments before the season, or even after that rotation had proven critical in building a 15 game lead in the AL Central. If they do anything remotely similar to this in the World Series, there’s going to be a debate as to where they fit among the all-time great pitching staffs. Consider:

- 4 complete games in a row. In the playoffs, against a good offensive team. They had 9 complete games all year, and that’s a high number for a major league pitching staff. Well, now they have 13. In those four games they allowed 4 walks, 20 hits, and 8 runs. Also, in the game before that, their lone loss in the series, Contreras went 8 1/3 and gave of three runs – hardly a poor effort, unless compared to the four games that followed.

- That was actually my only point, but it was significant enough that it warranted switching to bullet points. Sorry if I confused anyone.

2) Vladimir Guerrero is just about ready to take his place alongside A-Rod and Gary Sheffield in the “great regular season hitters who can’t hit good pitching and thus aren’t really scary in the playoffs” hall of fame. Interesting to note that the Yankees, who were bounced in the first round, have two of these guys, while Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite, Jorge Contreras, and Orlando Hernandez were all on LCS rosters. Hmm….there's definitely a lesson here, I just can’t quite put my finger on it…

3) AJ Pierzynski in Anaheim (NOT Los Angeles) has now secured his place among the top five Current Athletes Who are Hated by Everyone in a Particular City, along with Roger Clemens in Boston (who just beats out Roger Clemens in Toronto and Roger Clemens in New York), Joey Harrington and Ron Artest in Detroit, Terrell Owens in Dallas, and (somewhat inexplicably) Antonio Davis in Indiana.

4) Which brings me to the last point – baseball needs instant replay. What convinced me was not all of the calls that went against the Angels. For the record, the game two ‘trapped ball’ call would have had about a 15% chance of being overturned using the NFL’s “indisputable visual evidence” standards for replay. I’m sorry, but it’s true. The Angels did get hosed on multiple calls in game 3, but since it was a 6 run game it probably wouldn’t have made a difference. To their credit, the umpires did overturn two calls in game 5 which could have easily been screwed up (the Escobar missed tag and the fan interference ground rule double, although I’m personally of the opinion that if a fan messes up a play for the home team, that’s the breaks – especially after it was called that way against the Cubs). I don’t think any realistic case can be made that those calls determined the outcome of the series. However, what has convinced me that instant replay needs to be added next year was all the whining about the calls that went against the Angels (although it was mostly coming from announcers and analysts who were still stewing over the Sox making it that far; the Angels were impressively classy throughout the whole series).

Think about it. There are bad calls in the NFL all of the time. How often do you see the sports media supporting/encouraging fans to complain about them or blame their team’s failures on the officials? Almost never. Just in the last couple of years, the Seahawks (against the Cowboys), Bears (against the Lions), Lions (a couple of weeks ago on the Marcus Pollard slide), and the Saints (just last week) have lost games or had ties broken against them (which is all that happened to the Angels) due to debatable or blatantly erroneous calls, and other than the fans of those teams, pretty much nobody remembers. This is because having a replay process creates legitimacy. Even when bad calls are not corrected, the capacity to second-guess them is limited, because the play either could have been or was reviewed.

One of the arguments I hear frequently against replay is that it slows down the game. Before you accept this, consider what happens whenever there is a questionable call in an important baseball game. First, the manager of the team who the call went against runs out and argues with the umpire for two or three minutes. Then all of the umpires huddle together for another two or three minutes. Depending on what the other umps saw, sometimes the play is overturned, then the other manager runs out and argues for another two or three minutes. There’s no way that a couple of replays per game would slow down the game more than this. Here’s what I’d suggest for baseball – copy the NFL. Two challenges per team, per game, calls only overturned with indisputable visual evidence. Heck, provided that there’s a limited number of challenges, I wouldn’t even mind allowing them for balls and strikes, although I don’t love the idea. I don’t know if it’s going to happen soon, even after all the harping on the umps this post-season, but it will happen eventually, and when it does, it will be a good thing.

1917 is the new 1918

All right, I’m in the middle of trying to save my fantasy team’s chances for the week, and I just got Season Two of Arrested Development in the mail, but it has been way too long since we got some new material up here, so I’m going to give you my thoughts on what’s been a fairly momentous week in the Chicago sports scene.

First off, for those of you who are really out of it, the White Sox won their first playoff series since 1917 a couple of days ago. When you think about it, that’s a really huge deal. Obviously it won’t get as much press as Boston’s championship last season, partly because it’s not a championship at this point and partly because there is reason to suspect a massive local and national media conspiracy against the Sox (this is a whole other column, and I’m not even sure that I agree with Sox fans who think this way, but I will say that the “Are They for Real?” stories at the beginning of the season got a little old. As did the “The Sox Will be Exposed in the Playoffs by Oakland” stories during the middle of the year, the “The White Sox are Collapsing!” stories at the end of the year, and the fact that they’re going to be the underdog in every playoff series they’re in despite having the best record in the AL, the deepest pitching staff, and home field advantage throughout the playoffs. But I digress.) Anyway, I had them winning this series all along, but since a lot of people didn’t, and since I was surprised by the sweep, I’m going to bust out two theories to explain what happens here.

Theory #1: Defense wins you Money

This theory basically states that whenever two legitimate contenders meet in a playoff setting in any team sport, one is clearly unbalanced and offense-heavy, and the other is unbalanced and defense-heavy

1) The offensive team will be favored at least 75% of the time, and
2) The defensive team will win about 80% of the time.

I’m not sure why this is, it may be that offense relies more on skills which can deteriorate under pressure while defense relies on hustle and aggression (which increase under pressure), although this isn’t the case in baseball. But whatever the reason is, it’s definitely true. I can think of a few champions in major sports that had crappy offenses, but the most significant playoff championship won by a no-defense team in the last 5 years was the 2004 Wheaton College Intramural Indoor Soccer League (and they had three of the top five scorers in the league, including a guy named Mike Ball who would be making about $15 million a year right now if Indoor Soccer with plastic hockey goals on a basketball court was a major professional sport. Not that you care). Also there are two exceptions to this rule:

Exception #1 (The UNC-Illinois exception): The team that is thought of as being too offense-heavy actually has a decent defense which has just been overshadowed by the flashier offense on the same team. Technically, this isn’t really an exception since it violates one of the conditions. Anyway, this wasn’t the case with Boston. In baseball, a team’s defense has three components: starting pitching, bullpen, and fielding. In order to win a championship with a defense-heavy team, you need to be decent at all three and great in at least one (The White Sox are all good here). In order not to be considered an offense-only team, at least one component has to be good, and none of them can be flat-out awful. This season’s Red Sox weren’t good at any of those, at least not after all of the pitching injuries they had to deal with.

Exception #2 (The Bears/Redskins/Ravens exception): The defensive team's offense is so awful that it not only doesn't score points, but it keeps putting the opposing team in positions where it's almost impossible not to score points. This can't really happen is baseball, and it's actually pretty rare that a team makes the playoffs with an offense this bad.

Theory #2: The Miracle Playoff Run

Last season’s Red Sox team experienced a first-degree Miracle Playoff Run. What I mean by a “miracle playoff run” is that a team that was good enough to be in the playoffs, but by no means a favorite, and along the way they do at least two of these things:
1) Win at least one game/series against a team that’s probably better than they are (like the Cardinals).
2) Win at least one game/series that seems completely hopeless at some point (like the ALCS against the Yankees).
3) Knock out an archrival, a team that has had their number for several years, a team that is an established dynasty, or a team that includes some player who is at enmity with the team, for example the free agent that got away, the guy who forced his way out of town, the guy who you passed on in the draft, etc. Incredibly the ALCS actually met all of these conditions, although you’re on shaky footing calling a team that hasn’t won a championship in four years a “dynasty.”

Anyway, after such a run, there are only two things that can happen: The team can improve itself over the off-season (either by adding players or substantial improvements by the returning players) and become a dynasty (think the 1992 Bulls), or the team will have a letdown season and either barely miss the playoffs or lose to the first team that should beat them (think the 2005 Red Sox, the 2001 Ravens, or the 2004 Bucs). The Patriots, by the way, proved that it is possible to revert to the first scenario even after a letdown season, but in the season afterwards, only one thing can happen. Anyway, here are my LDS picks – I promise I haven’t changed them, although you’re going to have to take my word for it at this point.

White Sox in 4 (what can I say, most Chicago fans are pessimists deep down)
Angels in 5 (and I’m sticking with this one, although Theory #1 doesn’t apply when you have a balanced team against an offense-heavy team).
Cards in 4 (I hate predicting sweeps, it just feels insulting to the team I pick against. Although it’s pretty ridiculous that some experts actually picked the Padres here.)
Astros in 5 (The Braves are funny. They always get lucky during the season, getting a spark from a young player, an older player with one year left in the tank like Smoltz for the last three years, or a breakout season just when they really, really need it, but then it disappears in the playoffs. Somehow in the last few years they’ve always managed to be matched up against the team with three Cy Young candidates, the team that had to go 70-12 since the all-star break to make the playoffs, or, if possible, both. I’m not sure whether I should hate Braves fans or feel sorry for them.)

Also, happy trails to Eddy Curry, although he has a heart condition and the Knicks just traded for him, so he’s got two strikes there. I will say that it was pretty apparent that Bulls GM John Paxson (you probably remember him best from the ’93 Finals, although he was better in ’91) didn’t want to get rid of him. Once he gave Chandler that huge contract it was obvious that the game plan was to keep the current nucleus intact, add a couple of Darius Songalia-caliber free agents, keep drafting well, and hope that either Hinrich, Gordon, Deng, Nocioni, Chandler, or Curry develops into a guy who can carry a team in the playoffs (it’s not likely for any of them individually, but when you put them together you have a decent chance, and the supporting cast would already be in place). Paxson ultimately couldn’t be responsible for putting someone at such serious risk, so the only option was the DNA test, which Curry denied.

I have mixed feelings about this issue – almost every employer is allowed to test their employees for drugs, as well as medical conditions that may make their work dangerous to them when applicable, and they did offer him a nice golden parachute ($400k per year to do nothing for 50 years if he failed the test, although I’m pretty sure it doesn’t count against the cap), so I don’t really buy the whole invasion of privacy angle.

On the other hand, if Curry was concerned that the test would prevent him from playing the game he loves, or his agent is concerned that the test would prevent Curry’s agent, whoops, I mean Curry, from cashing in, he’s within his rights to refuse it. However, like any employee that refuses a drug test, he shouldn’t expect to continue working for that employer much longer. Still, there are rumors that Antonio Davis is going to be waived by the Knicks, enabling him to re-sign with the Bulls (probably for a lower salary at the Knickerbocker’s cap expense), and that he’s likely to retire rather than play for another team (which is a strange level of loyalty considering that he’s been on the team for one and a half seasons and the team was a train wreck for a third of that time).

If this is really going to happen, I’m stoked about this trade. At this point, I wouldn’t have minded trading Curry for just the draft picks they got (a first rounder and two second rounders from a team that’s likely to be bad for a few years), but they also got Tim Thomas (overrated and not a great contract, but at least it’s expiring and, if you don’t mind me lapsing into analyst language, he can “do some things”), and Michael Sweetney, whose per-forty minute averages are comparable overall to Curry’s. I don’t normally put as much stock into per-forty averages as some other people do because if someone’s not getting minutes, it’s usually because they can’t stay out of foul trouble, aren’t in good shape, or can’t play defense. In this case I’ll look at them since two out of those three apply to Curry. Plus, they got another guard who can eat into Ben Gordon’s playing time. I’d say right now Isaiah Thomas is ahead of Phil Jackson and Scottie Pippen but behind Jerry Krause, Paxson, and MJ on the list of people who have bailed the Bulls out of the most bad situations. But if Curry shows up out of shape this season, I’m putting him ahead of Krause.

Random Thoughts on a College Football Weekend

I know we've already had one post on this blog that clearly outlined College Football’s relative inferiority to the NFL, but I spent a full Saturday watching games. I needed to make a post, and CF was on my mind. With that said, here we go (and, as always, in no apparent order):

WVU vs. VT:
I watched the first half of this game from my apartment and the second half from the upper deck of the student section at about the 15 yard line (oversleeping and not wanting to miss a minute of action while you walk over will do that for you). VT ended up winning the game by a final score of 34-17. Unfortunately, 2 first half turnovers by the Mountaineers set up scoring opportunities for the Hokies, and WVU could never catch-up. Tech was very efficient on offense, and I’m convinced Marcus Vick is for real. He compiled the following stats: 15/17 in completions for 177 yards and 2 TDs, and 12 rushes for 74 yards and another TD. While he may have received a lot of hype early in his career for being Mike’s little brother, he deserves all of the attention that he is getting now. (Note: I’m going to completely ignore all of the “attention” that the Mountaineer fans gave him this week and throughout the game for his past indiscretions. I’m not even sure that I would be able to properly handle myself if I was 19 and given pretty much everything I ever wanted, was a celebrity everywhere I went, etc. I’m not trying to excuse his actions or say that he shouldn’t have been punished, but I know the idiots around me during the game would have screwed up just as badly had they been placed in those same situations. For as much as we look up to athletes and expect a lot from them, we have to remember that they are still young kids and most grew up in much more difficult situations that I or most of my friends could imagine...stepping down off my high horse now). As far as WVU goes, the freshman Slaton had a great game. I hope we’ve found our tailback for the rest of the season because he certainly brought a dynamic (speed and quickness) that had been missing from our ground attack. He hit some holes and easily had the best day amongst the backs (11 rushes for 90 yards). The bigger, power backs had more difficulty with the Hokies speed on defense. (Speed, it’s the wave of the future). As far as the passing attack, WVU has to open it up a bit more. You can run the entire game and beat teams like Syracuse, Wofford, East Carolina, and even Maryland, but against the better teams, you have to have a little more balance. We had 20 more rushing attempts than passing attempts in a game where we were down the entire game. I’m not sure I understand the philosophy. It isn’t like the Quaterbacks have shown an inability to complete the pass either. Pat White, who I like a great deal, was 9/11 for 85 yards and 2 TD’s. Not that Rich would ever read this, but THROW THE BALL more. You may be an innovator in the sense that your team runs the “no-huddle” offense and you have some unconventional plays, but someone needs to catch you up to speed on the importance of the Forward Pass. Just for reference, It was a great innovation back in the 1906.

Alabama vs. Florida
I was torn in this game. Being a UGA fan, I wanted the SEC East to be well-represented. However, I hate Florida, my friend Yates attends Dental School there (reason enough), and I’ve always had an unexplained respect for the Crimson Tide. All that being said, I decided that I wanted the Crimson Tide to “roll,” and I was happy to see an easy victory over the Gators. Knowing UF fans, I’m sure it will only be a matter of time before the first fireurbanmeyer.com site pops up as the result of this game. Maybe the same people that did the fireronzook.com site could start working on that? Of course, even though he is the UF coach, I still like Urban Meyer a lot. His team may have not been completely prepared for today's game, but I think that the problem with the Gators today is something that I have been stressing all season long – they are overrated. Look at their schedule thus far; if they had anymore cupcakes they could rival Hostess. And please don’t give me that crap about beating Tennessee as justification for the Gators Top 10 ranking. Tennessee is overrated this year too (although they scare me this upcoming weekend now that they’ve settled on a QB). That game was in Gainesville, which is probably a 10 point advantage for the Gators. The outcome is probably completely different if that game is played in Knoxville or even on a neutral field. As much as I hate to admit it, the SEC East is down a little bit this year. Also related to the Bama/UF game, I wanted to send my best get well wishes to Tyrone Prothro for the Tide who had one of the worst looking injuries I have ever seen. It’s a good thing he is only a junior because I’d hate for a player’s CF career to end on a meaningless TD attempt when the game was well in hand (Mike Shula, what were you thinking? In the words of Bobby Knight, "You will never be your father!").

Vanderbilt vs. MTSU
Vanderbilt loses its bid to start 5-0 and officially usher in the Apocalypse. I only watched the last 45 seconds, but apparently my watching signaled to the Commodores that it was time to revert to their ways of old. Herm Edwards couldn’t have more poorly executed the finish to their last drive. Personally, I’m just glad the kick was blocked, so maybe the poor freshman kicker won’t be scarred for the rest of his career by thinking that he is the one that prevented Vanderbilt from being bowl-eligible for the first time since the year I was born (1982).

Notre Dame vs. Purdue
I confess that I didn’t really watch this game (I’d rather watch the Notebook on back-to-back nights than watch the Irish play – and you think I’m kidding, but I’m not. Maybe I even did...maybe I just said too much). However, I can still say without a doubt that Notre Dame is SO overrated. I know they killed Purdue, beat Michigan, and beat Pittsburgh, but the common denominator in all of these teams is that they are OVERRATED too. Look at their currentrecords, and it is clear that Notre Dame shouldn’t be ranked #13 for these wins. Pittsburgh has “a” win (as in 1). Purdue has only managed to beat might Arizona and Akron, and Michigan has only beaten Northern Illinois, E. Michigan, and now Michigan State (1 respectable win). USC is going to crush Notre Dame; Tennesse will too. Mark my words.

USC vs. ASU
While I normally hate PAC-10 football, I was looking forward to watching this game. Instead, both my local ABC stations decided that I would rather watch Penn State and Minnesota. Thanks guys. As far as USC, they are going to run the table. Having these close games is just a way to provide a challenge for themselves in the second half and to keep themselves in the national spotlight more (they got more attention after they almost “lost” these last 2 games than they received while they were killing teams early in the season). These kids go to school in Las Angeles. They understand the importance of publicity and press, and, just like celebrities, are going to do what it takes to get theirs. They run the table and win their 2nd national title in a row (not 3rd because LSU won the championship in 2003; the AP doesn’t count).