Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A Nachorific return!

Okay, so being a graduate student isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. On second thought, I’m not sure it was ever billed as being a great life experience, but I just wanted to avoid saying that grad school sucks as an opener. Oh well, foget it… take two!

GRAD SCHOOL SUCKS! There, I said it. I no longer have time for the important things in life. Video games, movie marathons, and of course the Village Tavern blog. So here I am, making a not really all that triumphant return to the blog. But, since I have to contribute somehow, it’s my turn for a “nacho-rama” article. So here is…

Okay, so I worked a volleyball game today, and I noticed a few things about the sport of volleyball, from stupid rules to cultural experiences, and here they are.
1. It’s the only sport I know where taunting the opponent is fully acceptable. After each made point, teams huddle and do a little group cheer which may range from coordinated clapping pattern to a dance that looks like the naughty bird. In the NFL, that’s a 15 yard penalty, and a $10K fine, and in the NBA it’d be a technical foul. But in volleyball, it’s just a part of the ceremonies. Then again, with how absurd the NFL has become on this point, maybe this is not such a bad thing.
2. Okay, I still can’t figure out those spandex shorts! Are they really necessary? I mean, if basketball players can wear both jerseys and shorts that are 6 sizes too large and still perform at a high level, couldn’t they at least wear normal shorts (with spandex underneath if they want to)?
3. There is a position called the “lebaro” that isn’t allowed to leave the ground. They are basically there to get digs (the term for when you make a nice save, and yes, they keep nationwide stats on this) It’s like if the NBA created a rule stating that each team, on any given play, must have at least one player under six feet tall on the floor. Actually, it’s even more like co-ed intramural sports, which has rules stating how many females must be playing at all times.
4. Girls can jump. There is still something just a little bit different about it, but it happens and it works. Who would have thought…

I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but Laguna Beach: The Real O.C. is really well edited…

Can you imagine you were in a 10 person Fantasy Golf league? How much would it suck to pick fourth in that league? “With the first pick, ‘Niksdominators’ select Tiger woods”, heads nod and mutters of “good pick” echo around the room. “With the second pick, ‘four!!!’ selects Vijay Singh”. Most people agree this was the right pick, though his age has a few people in the room worried. ‘four!!!’ owner Tom insists he would have taken Vijay number one if he had that pick. By the time the third pick come around ‘baggervance’ does the safe thing and selects Lefty. I mean, you have to go Michelson here, right? “That’s a great pick if you want to finish in the middle of the pack every year” mutters Justin, owner of ‘chicks did the long ball’. He’s right, but you know he’d still take Phil if he got the chance. And then it happens, Tim the owner of ‘tim’s cup’ blurts out from the back of the room, “damn”. He was hoping that one of the big three would fall to him, and it finally sunk in that his team is screwed. Now he’s left with the big decision. Does he go Annika Sorenstam? Or if this is a keeper league, does he take a gamble on Michelle Wie? Ahh, maybe this is why there isn’t fantasy golf… (editors note: as it turns out, there is fantasy golf, wow!)

Okay, so the NFL Network’s whole add campaign is centered around the slogan “Imagine the Possibilities”. Right off the bat, there are two problems with this. First, anyone reading this article who has ever watched NFL Network, raise your hand… anyone?... I thought not. You basically have to have NFL Sunday Ticket from DirecTV to get it. And if you have Sunday Ticket, why would you watch NFL Network? Secondly, maybe people are tired of imagining the possibilities, when, for anyone who ever HAS watched, that’s exactly what you have to do, imagine. Great idea, poor execution (although I must admit the most recent ad is pretty good, highlighted by the “Big Game Hunting with Torry “Big Game” Holt plug)…


As an Athletic Trainer (well, soon enough I will be), I couldn’t make this next post without mentioning the injury that happened a few weeks ago to Alabama Wide Receiver Tyrone Prothro. For anyone who hasn’t seen it already, here it is. For anyone who doesn’t understand what happened here, let me explain. His Tibia and Fibula bones snapped in half (and were coming through the skin). This means that not only does he do enough to break the bone, but he managed to break them in half, leaving the marrow, veins and arteries all in seriously bad shape. There also no fewer than 12 muscles and three major nerves running through there, which, on top of the tissue damage done to them, will greatly atrophy during the course of his recovery. In other words, Crimson Tide or no Tide, I wish this guy the best of luck in his rehab.

Okay, that’s all I got. Not spectacular, I know, but I will try to get another, more well planned post up soon. Until then, enjoy your nachos…

3 comments:

Lewis said...

First of all, welcome back to the site. Just kidding.

Prior to this season, you could have selected Ernie Els with the 4th pick in a Fantasy Golf draft. Of course, he's been hurt for most of the year, so it would essentially be like the team that lost Duece McAllister for the year in FF. After the Els pick, Retief Goosen and then probably Sergio would be the next 2 to come off the board. Of course, if in some strange alternate universe where you could combine the LPGA and PGA tours for a Fantasy League (like your post suggests), Annika goes #1 or 2 because she is probably more dominant than even Tiger. Warrants mentioning, and I felt it was my job as the only true PGA Tour follower amongst our group. I do not follow the LPGA Tour by the way. Finally, Fantasy Golf is typically based on a salary cap format where 5 players are selected each week.

I thought the Spandex shorts were for our enjoyment as viewers? Was I wrong about this?

I'll close with this: Grad School does indeed suck!

Mac said...

as far as combining the LPGA witht he normal PGA (one being a female only organization, while the other is for any golfer out there) goes, i figured, if pro golf invites women to play on it's tour, then my fantasy golf... fantasy... can include both. and i just really wanted to throw in the whole "taking michelle wie in a keeper league" idea...

i will make no comment on the spandex shorts being for viewer enjoy other than to say, "it all depends"...

Ek said...

Women are only able to jump when they are wearing spandex shorts, it has to do with the tension created near the gluteous muscles. Ok, that might not be the reason, but I defy anyone to come up with a counter-example...

By the way, the only, very limited defense I'll make of the NFL Network is that during the preseason they showed all of the games on tape delay, so you could essentially watch NFL preseason games 8 hours a day, 7 days a week. Incredibly mind-numbing, but it's pretty much what has to be done to get an advantage in a fantasy league with so much information readily accessible.

I also will comment that I did make the "great pick if you want to finish in the middle of the pack" comment originall about LaDanian Tomlinson (LT would be an awful pick as he's been retired for about a decade), and I'm willing to concede that Tomlinson is a very solid pick, and he may one day be at least half as good as Sweetness was. That said, the guy who has him in our league would be in the middle of the pack were he in a tougher division...