Random Thoughts on Super Boring Sunday

Here are a few random thoughts on the Super Bowl, to help you get through the first of many horrifying Sundays without football. My roommate and I took turns watching each other play Madden. It helps a little, but I realize that option isn’t available to everyone. Also, he’s kinda new to the game and still in the phase where he doesn’t always realize that the clock is running out on the half and he has three timeouts, or that it may not be a good idea to go for it on fourth and ten at the opposing thirty in the first half. Chiefs fans, be forewarned, it’s a little painful to watch.

Anyway, from here on out, I’m going to try to post something at least every ten days or so, although this means that the longer postings you’ve seen in the past are going to be more rare, and that the majority of what I put up here probably won’t be innovative or thoughtful. Enjoy!

- I hate the bye week before the Super Bowl. There’s nothing more pointless and stupid in all of (professional) sports. Compared to the NBA, NHL, and MLB playoffs, the NFL playoffs tend to end up with lopsided match-ups a little more frequently and are pretty much a crapshoot whenever two relatively even teams play. The one advantage is that they don’t drag out forever. Well, at least they wouldn’t without the Super Bowl bye week. I realize that once every three years or so a key injured player is able to play because of this, and that every three or four times this happens, it affects the outcome of the game. So what? Any playoff format with more than two rounds is supposed to be a test of endurance. Winning three or four games, against top competition, without any kind of break, is what championships are about in the modern era. I suppose that it also helps to have an extra week to promote the game except that IT’S THE F*CKING SUPER BOWL, so I’m pretty sure that all that needs to be done is to announce the time, station, and location of the game a couple days in advance. Of course, the NFL routinely botches this part of it by saying things like “coverage begins at 3 PM,” which means the game could start anytime between 4 and 9 PM. I mean, I can deal with it for the World Cable Installation Championships every June, but that’s about all I’m willing to put up with. Plus, I just hate feeling like the NFL season is over when there’s still one game left.

- The Seahawks definitely deserve to be there. And anytime a team logically should be favored (by seeding, record, home field, etc.) and everyone is picking against them, well, watch out for that team. This didn’t really work for the Bears, however. I also would have appreciated it if Seattle hadn’t blown out the Panthers so thoroughly, as everyone is now convinced the Bears would have had zero chance in Seattle. By the way, there’s still no way you could argue that the 2005 Panthers were a better team than the 2005 Bears without citing that playoff game. Did I mention that they scored two long touchdowns on plays where the cornerback slipped? Is there any flukier play in football? I suppose I should give Steve Smith credit for the first one, as he did shove Charles Tillman over. By the way, I’m still a little upset about that game.

- Although I had always been under the impression that Shaun Alexander was an egomaniacal jerk, according to Ryan, a diehard Seahawks fan, he’s actually a devout Christian and does a ton of charity work. Worth mentioning. Although I defy you to find anyone in Chicago who thought Michael Jordan had a serious gambling problem during his prime.

- There’s no more enjoyable and less mentioned subplot than how uncomfortable Matt Hasslebeck is with the fact that he’s bald. I mean, the baseball caps, the do rags, I’m telling you, once you notice this, it’s hilarious. There’s at least a 30% chance that he only chose to be an NFL Quarterback because it’s one of the few professions where you have to wear a hat or helmet almost every time you’re in public.

- Speaking of subplots, everyone who follows the NFL is aware that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit, Mike Holmgrem won a Super Bowl with the Packers, Matt Hasslebeck played for Holmgrem as Favre’s backup, Shaun Alexander is an upcoming free agent, Seattle hasn’t had a champion in a really long time, Ben Roethlisberger is really young, and that Bill Cowher has coached the Steelers for a long time without winning the big one. There is no need for anyone to mention any of these things for the next week.

- Actually, never mind. I just came up with a really fun drinking game to play during the one to six hour long Super Bowl Pregame Show.

- Ok, I’ll admit it: Hines Ward is my favorite NFL player who has never been on the Bears or my fantasy team by a huge margin. He’s one of those rare star athletes who actually looks like he gets up every day thinking, “Holy crap, I get three months off a year and can buy anything I want for the rest of my life from playing football! Are you kidding me?” We need more athletes like that. Also, much to the chagrin of Ryan, who actually owns the place, Troy Polomalu has become something of a cult hero in our house.

- This time I’ll let you know in advance – Steelers 35, Seahawks 24.