Super Bowl Appetizer: Nachorama style!

Despite that fact that James Exley feels that the entire “Nachorama” article idea is lame, I am presenting a small assortment of appetizing stories. Let’s be honest, no one ever really took Jamie’s opinion seriously did they? That, and despite some very tasting chicken tenders in both Buffalo and Normal varieties, the Nachorama is the Village Tavern’s greatest strength…

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“I’d like to tender my resignation.”

Has there ever been a more confusing series of events in a Professional front office? Earlier this off-season Red Sox’ GM Theo Epstein left what he had always painted as his ‘Dream Job’ citing burnout and lack of personal time as his reasons for leaving. However, people around the sports business speculated that both contract issues, and a personal fall-out between Theo and his mentor Larry Lucchino had led to his growing discontentment with daily interactions that his ‘dream job’ entailed.

Yet strangely enough, come a week or so ago, Theo was back as the head man for Red Sox Nation, trying to replace the incredibly popular Johnny Damon at centerfield. What change? Peace of mind. Theo made a small power play, and he won. He was upset with not having as much authority as he wanted in personnel and business decisions, so he made a bold move. Leave, and at the very worst he would have a handful of other GM jobs to choose from. Win, and he could get back his ‘dream job’, with more power, more respect, probably a new contract, and great trips to Hawaii and South Africa under his belt. Theo won. Don’t be surprised to see a few of the people that had a part in his frustration the first go-round, finding themselves looking for new jobs in the next year or so…

“And while I’m here, would you like to see my Resume?”

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While the Theo situation has been a debacle that I didn’t really see coming, there’s another situation that has gone from being an issue begs questioning, to one that has become a yearly spectacle: is this the end of Brett Favre’s career? What was once a question firmly situated at the back of every Green Bay Packers fans’ minds at the end of each season, has now become a media frenzy of ridiculous proportions. I like Brett Favre. I like the way he has fun playing football, I like that he’s not afraid to take chances. And I love that for years he’s had the ability to make throws that people once thought to be not only ill-advised, but near impossible.

This is all I can tell you about the Brett Favre retirement circus extravaganza. Keep your shirts on, calm down, and don’t bust out the ‘Jump To Conclusions Mats” just yet. The fact of the matter is this; Brett Favre isn’t sure what he’s doing next year, just like he has been unsure for the last 3 or 4 off-seasons. Don’t buy too much into what is said in the upcoming weeks until there is not only a final retirement announcement, but until the coin toss of next years first regular season game has been made, and Favre is not only not in uniform, or on the sidelines, but not even in the stadium, in Green Bay, or anywhere in the state of Wisconsin.

Cause there’s two things you always have to remember about Brett Favre. Just when you think you have him figured out, you don’t, AND this man has the Jordan-esque type competitive nature that will make it almost impossible for him to walk away from the game if he is not being carted off the field by a golf cart and an Athletic Trainer.

Oh yeah, there is one other thing about Brett Favre: to quote ‘Monday Night John’, “You could have 11 Brett Favre’s on the same team, and there’d still only be one Brett Favre!”

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What’s in the water in Anaheim? First, the Angels decide to change their name from the California Angels, to the Anaheim Angels. Then, this season they went from the Anaheim Angels to what is undoubtedly the worst name in sports history (largely because the name makes up an entire sentence in and of itself). ‘The Los Angeles Angles of Anaheim’. Hmmm… so where do they play again? Hell, if your going to actually call them, should they just go back to the California Angels? I mean, you don’t want to be associated with just one city in California, then why not go back to claiming the entire state again?

Well, if the Disney classic taught us anything about our Avian friend the Duck it is this, “Ducks fly together” (Well, that and that there is no one more unstoppable and important move in all of hockey than the triple deke…). Or so we though!

How is this pertinent? Well, as if this one incident wasn’t enough for the identity-crisis-stricken people of Anaheim, earlier this week the Anaheim Mighty Ducks announced that next year they will be dropping the ‘Mighty’ part of their moniker. Was this change inspired by disappointing performance as of late, or in an effort to intimidate their opponents? I mean, a duck, in and of itself is pretty intimidating! Maybe it’s subliminal appeal for all the Monty Python fans out there to support Anaheim’s team. Or maybe there is just something (besides a flock of Ducks, of course) in the water.

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This just in, JEROME BETTIS IS FROM DETROIT!!! Could there have been any more overplayed story at this Super Bowl? I think it’s a great story; you know, to have never been mentioned until the pre-game show when they do a video montage of the entire Pittsburgh team at the Bettis household for a big meal. Nothing more.

I did get a real chuckle out of the whole thing after the AFC Championship game when a reporter ask The Bus what people should be excited about having the Super Bowl in Detroit. His response: “You know, it’s just a great city”. First of all, this is a blatant lie. I’ve been to Detroit. Secondly, is that all you can come up with after all the media hoopla of why you so badly want to get ‘home’ for what is probably (it’s about time) your last game in the NFL? How about, “the people there are great”, or “it just brings back many memories of my childhood”. Anything.


I’m also convinced there is a massive media conspiracy to help the city of Detroit with its image. I really can’t speak against this, the city needs a little love. It’s had some (really) hard times, and I am glad they’ll benefit from the economic benefits of be the Super Bowl host city. But this has been a classic example of people coming in with REALLY low expectations (understandably), and being pleasantly surprised enough to brain wash themselves into thinking the city is nicer than it really is. Whatever works guys, as long as it gives the media something other than Jerome’s homecoming to talk about.

And if we must talk about Jerome Bettis, why has it never been pointed out that it is more than a little ironic that Jerome Bettis’ last game, and first Super Bowl, is “Super Bowl XL”?

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Is there a worst trend in the NBA than the full leg-length tights? I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I have a pair. I wore them for track, when I live in Chicago and I had to run in sub-30º weather while snow was falling. NOT in a temperature controlled NBA arena. There’s a little difference.

The first person I remember doing this was Jerry Stackhouse. Now, I know he’s still playing, but Stack hasn’t been relevant enough as an NBA player in the last few years for me to check up on whether or not he’s still wearing them. I also know that Kobe wore them for a stretch last year I think. Thankfully, the man who once scored 81 points in a game, and has nicknamed himself “Black Mamba”, no longer wears the tights on a regular basis. And now, after wearing them one game for an injury, which subsequently started a nice winning streak, LeBron James is wearing the tights every game. I understand superstitions, but come on!

This is not only the most ridiculous fashion statement I’ve ever seen, but I think the NBA needs to put a stop to it. I understand that with a very minor hamstring, quadriceps, or groin injury, some compression can help prevent further straining the muscle. I’m all for that; wear compression shorts. So, assuming a player maybe has a mild calf injury, wear a compression sleeve on your calf. My point is, if it’s necessary fine, but if not, it shouldn’t be allowed.

My reasons for why the NBA should step in on this are twofold. First of all, it looks ridiculous. I’m sorry, playing indoor basketball in pants has always, and will always look ridiculous. Secondly, and more objectively, how can a league that fines players for not wearing socks that match the color of a players shoes (which are determined by whether they are home or away), as well as fining players for their shorts being too long, tolerate this. On top of gameplay dress code, this is the same NBA which instituted by far the most stringent dress code in all of professional sports this off-season. The tights must go!


Oh yeah, and did you know that Jerome Bettis, playing in his first Super Bowl, and probably his last game, is from Detroit?