Florida Sucks

As most (okay, all) of our readers here at the Tavern know, i hate Florida. Well, I love Tennessee (for past articles about this, click here), which means I hate Florida, so i suppose there is a little bit of a difference. And so, this past march was a painful time for me. I had to watch my beloved Volunteers squander their best season of my life time by playing poorly in the Tourney.

After that, i had to endure watching our hated rivals, a team we had beaten twice during the regular season, go all the way to the Final Four, and the proceed to win the National Championship. To add insult to injury like salt in a newly-christened wound, they did it by being carried by the player i most hate, and by far the ugliest player in Tournament History. Joakim Noah (that might not even be spelled right, and i don't even care...). And so, it brings me great joy to present the Village Tavern with a picture i've been meaning to post on here for some time. Here it is:

Running Diary of 2006 NBA Draft Lottery

7:23: Welcome to My Running Diary of the 2006 NBA Draft Lottery. I’ve currently been banished to the bonus room of the Lewis’ household in beautiful Scott Depot, West Virginia. Never heard of it? Don’t worry because you aren’t missing anything. We are T-minus 7 minutes and counting until the Draft Lottery begins. Everything I have read and watched in the last 24 hours has the top three draft prospects being Tyrus Thomas (LSU, F), LaMarcus Aldrige (Texas, C/PF), and Mark McIntosh, I mean, Adam Morrison (Gonzaga, SF). I’m willing to bet these won’t be the top three guys selected when the June draft rolls around. Twenty dollars anyone?

7:26: Another Mobile ESPN commercial. I am beginning to think these are shown just so that ESPN can showcase its lesser-known anchors (Trey Wingo in this one). Granted, I like Trey, but he’s no Scott Van Pelt. No one has the presence to command a room like SVP.

7:29: ESPN is finally wrapping up the KIA NBA Shoot-Around. Thank goodness. I couldn’t watch much more of Greg Anthony, Tim Legler, and STEPHEN A. SMITH. I almost cancelled the running diary because the KIA NBA Shoot-Around was so painful. By the way, let’s end the debate once and for all, “Legs” is the worst analyst of all-time. No one can convince me otherwise.


7:30: Dan Patrick voices over the NBA Lottery introduction with shots of all the college stars and past draft-winning General Managers celebrating. I think it is safe to say we all need more DP in our lives. My dad literally comes home every day and tells me something new that Dan has said on his radio show that day.

7:31: First shot of the ping-pong balls. Does anyone really know how they work? I realize that the actual lottery takes place in a back-room with all of the representatives watching, a supposedly “unbiased” observer making sure that the proceedings maintain their integrity, and four ping-pong ball combinations that tell the winners. Even with all that information, I have no clue how it works, and I think it just fuels the conspiracy theories. Interesting side note, Dan Patrick also just said that Greg Anthony watched a lot of college basketball this season. I’m guessing that was a lie since he was doing NBA shows (including the KIA NBA Shoot-Around) all-season long.

7:33: Steve Lavin’s 3-top players: Tyrus Thomas (best athlete in the draft), “Silky-Smooth” LaMarcus Aldrige (his words, not mine), and Adam Morrison. Thanks for going out on a limb there Steve. You are clearly earning your money from ESPN right now by providing tremendous insight (interesting side note, Steve won’t be heard from again this evening).

7:34: Dan asks why J.J. Redick isn’t a lottery pick since he and Adam Morrison were always talked about in the same breath all season long. He throws it to Greg Anthony who says that, according to his piles of research, there are questions about his ability to create his own shot. I’m so thankful that these guys are here to point out the obvious (although Redick will be better than people realize according to the Sports Guy). Also, it warrants mentioning that in his mock-draft after the picks are announced, Andy Katz has J.J. in the lottery. Sports Illustrated’s mock draft also has him among the lottery picks.

7:37: The Dockers commercial with broken glass and spinning bottle just came on TV. I think I do want a “Sunday Kind of Love” now that I think about it; just something to last past Saturday night.

7:39: Return from commercial break for an interview with David Stern. Great interviewer by the way – I especially enjoy the always smug look as he answers questions. Dan’s really trying to make him choose sides (dynasty versus parity, best storyline of the playoffs), but the Commissioner is swatting away these shots like Tyrus Thomas in the NCAA tournament. If he keeps this up, he may end up being the number one overall pick instead of the big three. Dan also asked him why he began the lottery twenty years ago, and every SG fan is thinking so that the Knicks could get Patrick Ewing. I was busy thinking of this conspiracy and didn’t catch the Commissioner’s answer; sorry.

7:40: As they cut to commercial, the show the envelopes being brought into the main room. When they come back, they are taking us from picks fourteen to four. The suspense is almost too much to take (ok, not really).

7:44: New Maria Sharapova ESPN cafeteria commercial that is pretty funny – ESPN really does a great job with their Sportscenter commercials. As Mark and I once liked to joke about Kristin Kreuk of Smallville, “So Hot…want to touch the hiney,” and Sharapova has definitely reached that status. Also, there’s no way Stewart Scott can be upset about John Anderson’s decision to give Maria his seat in the commercial. John made the right call, and no jury could be convinced otherwise (even if he has no shot with her).

7:46: They are now introducing all of the team representatives including Chris Paul of the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets. Backhanded compliment to Pat Hill of the Orlando Magic – “you’ve been here many times before” - which means that your team never makes the playoffs. Congrats. By the way, it is a bit disappointing to not see fellow lottery veteran Elgin Baylor. There’s still hope he can make it next year.

7:47: JoJo White, representative of the Boston Celtics, wore underwear tonight for good luck. I think it is safe to say he won’t be the third wheel in the next Michael Jordan and Kevin Bacon Hanes commercial.

7:48: Gerald Wallace is representing the Bobcats. Interesting side note that may only interest me, but I actually played against Gerald Wallace in high school. This was back in the day when he was rated the #1 player in the country in my class. He was a member of the Alabama Ice, and I was riding pine for the Georgia Stars. We both played in the same game (although definitely not at the same time). I love name-dropping by the way.

7:50: Russ Granik, NBA Deputy Commissioner, is reading the results the draft lottery results fourteen through four in a monotone voice. Quickly, they are: Utah Jazz, Philadelphia 76ers, New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets, Orlando Magic, Seattle Supersonics, Golden State Warriors, Houston Rockets, Boston Celtics, Minnesota Timberwolves, Atlanta Hawks (ouch), Portland Trailblazers. Only the Atlanta Hawks and Portland Trailblazers are out of order there (if you are going from best to worst record, they both should be higher with Portland at 1 and Atlanta at 4).

7:53: Another Sunday Kind of Love commercial. Why can’t these “accidents” happen to me? Maybe it’s because I don’t have any weekend khaki’s by Dockers? I think I will buy a pair tomorrow to find out (and yes advertising works).


7:55: Quickly back to Russ; I wasn’t ready for that: 3rd pick – Charlotte Bobcats; 2nd – Chicago Bulls (from the New York Knicks), 1st- Toronto Raptors. I’ve just become convinced that this draft is definitely rigged. I love Brian Colangelo (and not the Raptors don’t need this pick), but this result is a little shady. He leaves Phoenix after rebuilding them (and winning the executive of the year award the previous season), his dad is the savior for USA Basketball, and now he’s going to turn around the Raptors (all of those successes without even mentioning that David Stern told Mike Dolan to fire Isaiah Thomas and hire Brian Colangelo). I am briefly wondering if he has a daughter that is single just so I could say that I’ve married into the most successful NBA family of all-time.

7:57: Dan Patrick just showed that he doesn’t know his NBA teams, which is very disappointing for me personally. He was speechless while trying to list players on the Raptors after he gets past their best player Chris Bosh. I’m very disappointed in Dan, although I doubt most NBA fans can name more than one player on the Raptors. Still, I have lost a hero.

7:58: Startling revelation that Brian Colangelo is also wearing underwear. It’s safe to say that we are firmly entrenched in TMI (Too Much Information) territory of the program, and that the NBA draft lottery doesn’t need to last 30 minutes. Can we go back to a halftime draft lottery because that clearly worked much better? Please?


7:59: Portland is looking forward to the 4th pick according to their owner. My thoughts immediately go to my good friend Josh Carlton, whose team can’t seem to catch a break. The only consolation is that this is a really weak draft, so it isn’t like his team missed out on the next Lebron James or anything. Plus, the best player in last year’s draft was taken at the 4-spot.

8:00: Alright, the Eastern Conference Finals Game 1 is about to tip-off, so I’m out. Hope you enjoyed the NBA Draft as much as I did. Remember to support the NBA because it is FAN-tastic (and all executives wear underwear at the Draft Lottery – whether they do at the actual draft remains to be seen).

Shaken, when Stirred

I went to the movies last Friday night for, I think, the third time in the past 12 months. Is it just me or are there just not as many good movies coming out anymore that make me want to pony up the $8-10 bucks it takes to be entertained (or not) for 2 hours?

Although I did miss about half of the previews, I did manage to see a preview for the new Bond flick, ‘Casino Royale’, I think it’s called. New movie, new Bond, and, of course, a new Bond chick. Is there any more reliable thing in the universe of movie sequels than a different Bond babe in every movie? I mean, how many movies have there been in this marathon-series? We’re easily into the twenties, aren’t we? There have been like eight or nine ‘007’s’, but there has always been a different chick in each installment.

While seeing the James Bond preview started me on that little tangent, it wasn’t the reason I went to the movies, and it isn’t the reason I’m writing this article (though it did, obviously, inspire the title). I went to see the film rendition of the popular bestseller “The DaVinci Code”. It’s a pretty good movie based on a controversial but very thought-provoking book.

The basic premise of the book, as everyone should know by now, is that Jesus Christ not only was a mere man who performed miracles (not the divine son of God), but was also married to Mary Magdalene. While the plot involves Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu’s attempts to solve the cryptic message left by her dying grandfather on the historic parquet floors of the Louvre art museum, the implications of the pretext reach much farther; especially for Christians.

So why should Christians care that a Hollywood story is depicting Christ in a very poor light? This is, after all, not terribly uncommon, is it? If ‘The Passion’ taught us anything about film making, it has to be that film has a loud, far-reaching voice. And whether we like it or not, people are influenced on some level by what they watch on Hollywood’s silver screens. While Christians generally poured into the theatres to support Mel Gibson’s controversial piece, we will probably take the opposite approach with “The DaVinci Code”. By not going to see it, we’ll say, we’re using our money to make a statement.

Boycotting a movie like “The Da Vinci Code” can definitely send a message, but it can also have more negative affects. While the Christian call is to be “in the world, but not of it”, we have to be careful to not to repeat the mistake of the Anabaptists by emphasizing one half of that statement over the other. Yes, we have a descript calling to set ourselves apart by our actions, but if we step out of the world altogether (as the Anabaptists did), how then can we influence it? We can’t expect the world to always come to our homes and churches when they want our perspectives on Jesus Christ. We have to be ready to take our beliefs to the workplace, and be ready, willing, and able to discuss tough topics.

Part of being “able”, involves a continuing education not only on the doctrines of Christianity, but also on the constitution of the non-Christian population towards Christianity. After all it is the degree of receptiveness to a message, as much (if not more) than the words we use to purvey that message, which will determine its reception. And pop-culture influences from music, to art, to literature will all have an effect on someone’s receptiveness, whether we like it or not. And we can’t celebrate the arrival of “The Passion” and then try to pretend that movies like “The DaVinci Code” never happened, or that we don’t support Hollywood with our money (that’s what’s commonly called wanting to “have you cake and eat it too”).

And so, if we can’t ignore the impact of the movie, we must prepare for it (even embrace it, in a sense). In order to do that, we have to be prepared to discuss the questions the movie will raise in a calm, educated manor while displaying that we care deeply about our faith, but without letting our emotional connection to the material affect our ability to use logical arguments. And so, after reading the book and watching the movie, I’ll present a few areas of contention, which Christians need to be prepared to confront as a response to Dan Brown’s bestseller. These are a few areas brought up by the book/movie that raised question marks for me (and the answers that I either knew off-hand or by revisiting things I had previously known). I’m sure there are many more, but here they are:

The council of Nicea
In Dan Brown’s portrayal of the story, the Council of Nicea was used by Constantine as a merely way to solidify power. And while the council was taking place the Bible was molded to fit the powers of the church. While it is probably true that Constantine’s conversion was embarked upon as a largely political scheme, he did not hand pick the Church Canon (the books that became the Bible).

All Bishops of the church were invited (about 300 attended) and they decided which texts about life of Christ were inspired, and which were either mere historical texts written by onlookers or, worse, by denouncers of Jesus. Church doctrine was also laid out and debated, which is where the conspiracy theorists have their field day.

There was indeed a debate about the nature of Christ’s existence, but it was not as simplistic or deceptive as “The DaVinci Code” makes it seem (on the left, believed to be a Priory picture of Mary Magdeline's heir). Never in the debate was Jesus considered a mere man. The debate had three factions: the Arians, Homoosians, and the Homoiosians (notice the ‘i’ or ‘iota’ in the middle). Those lead by Arius (Arians), who believed Jesus was God’s finest, most pure creation (but a creation), were put up against the intellectual powers of Athanasius, who adamantly defended the Homoosians. The very small Arian faction was eventually put down (and forced to recant or be excommunicated), and a debate between the Homoosians and Homoiosians continued.

The Homoosians contended that Christ, being the Son of God was of the SAME substance with the Father. The Homoiosians contended he was of SIMILAR substance, which would blatantly contradicted Jesus’ own statements that “The Father and I are one”. Eventually the Homoosians led by Athanasius of Alexandria won the day, and correct doctrine was maintained. Only a very small minority ever considered Christ to be a man, and even then, never MERELY a man, but rather a special creation by God for the defined purpose of doing miracles.

It is also unlikely that a religious group (the Catholic Church) that up to this point in History had been persecuted and scattered would have the foresight to carry out “the greatest cover up in history”, even if one was needed (which it wasn’t).

If he wasn’t God, why is he so important?
The story never explains this, even continually referring to him as Jesus ‘Christ’, rather than merely Jesus, or Jesus of Nazareth. What would life altering about a man who was merely a man? How could he be sacrificed in the place of man’s sin on the cross, which is the most important part of the Incarnation. Why such reverence to “the mother of the offspring of Jesus Christ”, when Jesus Christ is supposedly some mere man?

The Knights Templar have the Grail:
It should be noted that the Knights Templar were originally a band of criminals and rapist that were basically hired (“recruited”) for the First Crusade. Not exactly moral protectors whose sole goal was to protect “The Sacred Feminine”. It is more likely they found great treasures in the Holy Lands, which they kept for their wealth, than that they indeed found “the Holy Grail”.

Also much of the political, mystical, and supposed religious power assigned to the Knights Templar runs into a big problem later in History. The idea that they were nearly unbeatable in battle hits a serious roadblock when the Mongolians begin invading Europe and are left completely unchecked until the death of the Great Khan puts a halt to their advances. This concept comes to an even more abrupt end when they are routed on the final crusade they take part in, which opens the door for King Philip of France (NOT the Catholic church) to get rid of a political group that had come to have much sway.

Just because most Christian organizations never mention the Holy Grail, doesn’t mean they are trying to hide something: There’s not historical or biblical context for its importance, that’s why it’s ignored. Just how the government never mentioning an Area 51 leads to conspiracy theories claiming its existence. Silence breeds conspiracy.

The historical and linguistic roots of the female version Yahweh (who was later “covered up” when monotheism developed) are unfounded:
This is found only in the book, and is not mentioned in the movie, but is an important distinction. Dan Brown mentions a female deity Shekinah as the counterpart to the male Yahweh. Shekinah is in fact a Hebrew word concerning God, but is more of an attribute of God, or a presence than another being. It is similar to the concept of the Holy Spirit. However the root for such speculation comes form the word Shekinah being ‘feminine’ in origin, which is a huge linguistic stretch. It is very common in many languages for even inanimate objects to have a feminine or masculine tense, but it doesn’t mean they have gender. Also, Christian doctrine assigns no gender roles to God in the first place, and clearly has room for the different attributes of God (that whole thing called “the trinity” also discussed at the Nicean Council), so the existence of a term like Shekinah with a “female” root is of little consequence to the educated, and entirely non-threatening.

The mixing of symbols in religion, while intriguing, is not definitive of shared religious roots: The swastika was once a symbol used for loads of stuff, including some Jewish organizations (read the Great Gatsby, they have to add a footnote to make this make sense to the reader), before it became the Nazi symbol we know it as today. Does this mean the Nazi’s were a secretly led by a sect of elite Jews trying to cleanse themselves of untrue Jews? Wait maybe I’m on to something here…

Something Christians must be prepared to answer to:
Most of the stuff going on here was pre-Great Schism (church split, caused by the reformation), so Protestants cannot disregard it as a Catholic problem. Any questions regarding Jesus Christ, Judaism, or the universalist mixing of all religions, are a problem for all of Christianity, no matter what their context. They attack the roots of our beliefs, and cannot be avoided.

The sins of the church, from the Catholic Inquisition, to the mutual atrocities of the 30 years war, to the Great Crusades, Christians must admit that the church, while being the vessel of God, did not inherit his divinity or his perfection (the reason Protestants have a problem with a Pope or ‘Patriarch’). We must be willing to admit the faults of the church when it has mixed with political ambitions, while being prepared to explain that the Bible never claims to make men perfect (even “Holy” men).

Throw a Quarter in the Village Tavern Jukebox

Well, it now appears that Sexley is no longer going to be writing for this fine establishment, so that leaves me as the only contributor who pretends to have taste (editor’s note: to date it has not been shown that anyone at the VT actually has taste, and it has been well established that James does not). But anyway, in this newfound role, I feel it’s somewhat necessary to attempt to introduce a little more culture to the site. So I’m going to go ahead and review the last ten albums I bought. And yes, when you see what they were, it will probably confirm your suspicion that I don’t have any taste and should never review anything (well, maybe reading the reviews will confirm that second part...).

Pearl Jam – Pearl Jam:

First off, I’ll just get this out of the way – I am one of those crazy Pearl Jam fans who gets offended when people say they haven’t done anything good since “Ten.” For the record, I thought that Vs. and Lost Dogs were great albums and that just about everything they’ve done has been very good. I haven’t seen them live yet, but it’s on my “things I’d really like to do before I die or it becomes impossible” list (well, if I made such a list, it would be). But I think there may actually be something to the Sports Guy’s Vince Carter theory with this album: the songs aren’t really better written than the songs on Riot Act or Binaural were, but on this album they put in the effort to make the rock songs sound like they, well, rock, and even going back to their earlier work I can’t think of any previous Pearl Jam album where the bass and drums sounded so good. So you won’t have to go out and buy a live album in eight months or so to hear these songs the way they’re supposed to sound: A

Lynyrd Skynyrd – Pronounced Len-Nerd Skin-Nerd:

What, do you think I only buy new stuff? It’s actually a little surprising that this wasn’t in the collection already. The main reason is that I’d always had a two-disc best collection for Skynyrd, and it seemed pointless to buy the albums. I wouldn’t recommend this, because any great band is worth experiencing through the full albums. On the other hand, there was maybe one halfway decent song on this album that wansn’t in the two-disc set I had. The version I bought also included demos of Tuesday’s Gone, Gimmie Three Steps, and Freebird, and let me say this much: production really makes a difference. Of the three, Tuesday’s Gone is the only one where you can even still tell it’s a great song. They did manage to throw in a couple of non-demo extras as well, both of which were good tunes (for the record, I hate it when record companies do this). All in all, I expected this one to be a little better than it was, but it still has the two greatest Southern Rock songs ever on it; and I shouldn’t hold it against them that I knew them already, so it’s hard to justify anything lower than an: A-

.Moneen. – The Red Tree:

I saw these guys opening up for Saves the Day and liked them enough that I bought their next album, and I absolutely love it when that happens. Anyway, most of the songs on this album kind of sound the same, but at least it works when they try to do something different, and at least the sound is pretty good: B+

The Drive-by Truckers – A Blessing and a Curse:

Probably their saddest album lyrically to date, which is saying something. It’s not their best album, but calling it a letdown
would be a little harsh. Also, if you bought it at Tower Records during the week it was released (and probably some other places), it came with a bonus disc including Jason Isabell’s “When the Well Runs Dry,” which would have been one of the best four songs on the album. Probably the worst such oversight I can think of other about fifteen songs from Lost Dogs not making an earlier Pearl Jam album. I hate it when bands do that: B

Saves the Day – Sound the Alarm:

For those of you who were concerned by In Reverie, don’t worry, Saves the Day was just messing with us and they’re back now. Oh, and if you don’t know who Saves the Day is, you should go pick up Stay What You Are at the same time Mike Holmgrem suggests calling a timeout…IMMEDIATELY!!!!!: A

Foo Fighters – 2005: Five Songs and a Cover:

I found this one at Best Buy…finds like this almost make it worth shopping at a place where it takes ten minutes to check out at 1:15 on a Tuesday, mostly because they try to sell magazines to everyone who goes through a register. Anyway, it opens up with a live version of “Best of You” that was so bad that it moved the Foo Fighters from the top level of “bands I need to see before they break up regardless of cost or inconvenience” to the level of “bands I would pay to see maybe even if I didn't like the people I was going with.” It’s a subtle difference. And I don’t know if I really needed a Foo Fighters version of “I Feel Free,” especially if it doesn’t even include Dave Grohl singing. But the other four songs were good: B+

Twothirtyeight – Matter Has a Breaking Point:

I used to own a burned version of this from a friend with eight songs on it and only learned when I actually bought the album on iTunes (at least four years later) that there are actually sixteen songs on this album. Oddly enough, with eight songs it was one of those really short emo albums that you can listen to three times in your car in a normal day of driving, and now it’s one of those albums that’s good all the way through but a little longer than it needs to be. Actually, I haven’t listened to the extra songs nearly enough to give this a fair review. I’ll do what my Old Testament professor did in the same situation: A

Metallica - …And Justice For All:

History’s been a little rough on this album. It still has some classic songs, but it’s impossible to think of it as great rock music now that everything else sounds so much cleaner. And I wouldn’t hold it against them, but the same thing isn’t true of early Foo Fighters, early Pearl Jam, or even Led Zeppelin. Heck, AC/DC music still rocks twenty years later, and they weren’t even talented. In fact, the best thing I would think about this album if it came out today was, “wow, this is a lot better than their last album…”: C+

Allison Krauss & Union Station – Lonely Runs Both Ways:

What can I say, she has a great voice…let’s not dwell too long on the fact that I own this album and listen to it occasionally: B

AC/DC – Back in Black

As I was saying earlier, this album still rocks. The only real knock on AC/DC was that, apart from the vocals (which actually don’t sound good by any sort of conventional definition) and some of the guitar solos, most Junior High rock bands can play everything they’ve done. But hey, not everything has to be complicated: B+

(and yes, I know I didn’t use any Ds or Fs. This is because I don’t buy crappy music. If you want to send me one of the albums above, I’ll review them, but I’m not paying for them, I mean, come on!)

The Race is Over (Before it Even Began)

I’m sure most of you remember one of the great advertising wars of our generation. The battle for dominance in the American brewing industry has had many incarnations, perhaps none of which were as memorable as the one started by Miller with their “President of Beers” campaign. The timing was right (the months leading up to the U.S. Presidential Election), the character was well chosen (the other, non-David Cross guy from ‘Mr. Show’, who also gives a masterful performance as the marriage counselor in ‘Arrested Development’, Season 1), and the script was great.

An unveiled jab at Budweiser’s “The King of Beer” moniker and image, the Miller campaign had many highlights. Shots ranged from the opening ad’s line, “I guess they never got the memo. America is a DEMOCRACY, break it down: ‘Demo… cracy’!”, to the not-so-veiled jabs at George W.’s occasional mixing of words when the President of Beers candidate declares Bud’s actions a “Traveshamockery”. This campaign made it impossible for even the most ardent Budweiser fan to hold back a snicker or two.

And then came the response. First of all, Budweiser routinely blows away all competition with their advertising. Whether it’s the Super Bowl or just run-of-the-mill prime-time programming, their presences is always felt, and their ads are almost always good. Because of this picking a fight with the Budweiser advertising agency probably wasn’t such a good idea (and possible a little bit of a desperate move by Miller). Especially considering the fact that they forgot to take into account one little detail.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the race for President of Beers has come to an abrupt end,” declared the Budweiser Donkey (his introduction to the Budweiser family was another great ad in a string of successful animal promoters). He goes on to describe his discussion with the Budweiser Clydesdales, where he learned that Miller had recently been purchased by South African Breweries. This, of course, makes them ineligible to become President of Beers. And as if these ads weren’t enough, Miller weakly filed a lawsuit against Budweiser, further incriminating themselves as the losers, in a campaign war they themselves had started.

The reason I bring this up is simple. Another race has “come to an abrupt end”. The race to be king (or President, if you will) of the next-generation home video gaming consoles. As you might remember, I wrote an article laying out the race for you all several months back, and I’m not only standing by my predictions that Nintendo’s newly re-christened “Wii” (formerly the ‘Revolution’) will change gaming as we know it, but is going to win the race for dominance in this generation of console gaming.

Why should we care that Nintendo will be the winner, and why are you so confident about this fact, you may ask? First of all, we should care because, well, Nintendo are the good guys. They all but invented video gaming, and they’ve also been the driving force behind innovation for over 20 years. Not only that, Microsoft and Sony (like their fathers before them, aka Sega and Turbo Graphics), are the bad guys. And by that I mean, they just jumped on the bandwagon and hoped that copying and maybe slightly improving things with their system, they could make some extra money. Never mind that in the cases of Sony and Microsoft their strategy basically is limited to using the raw power of resources at their disposal (read: lots and lots of money) to kill all competition: whether they make a profit right now or not. They’re the Wal-Mart of the gaming world: you get in the store, and it’s a nice easy shopping experience, but deep down you know you’re selling your soul (and the souls of every local small business) to save a few bucks. We all do it, but when/if we ever get to the point where money is no longer the only object, we start shopping at Target again…

And secondly, to answer why I am so confident Nintendo will come out on top. Anyone who was at, has read about, or watched any footage from the recent E3 convention must, at the very least, admit that it could turn out that way. Nintendo blew away the competition at E3. Their lines were backed up for as much as 4 hours wait time! They had more games to play than anyone thought possible, considering how short a time it’s been since they finally gave developers a kit to start programming for the new system (although some were merely demos to help people understand and get used to the controller, there were 27 playable games in all). From the latest Zelda game where you can use your off-hand to smash enemies in the mouth with your shield while swinging your sword (as well as literally pulling back the bow-string while aiming a deadly arrow), to ‘Excite Truck’ (sound familiar to the myriad of ‘Excite Bike’ fans out there?), where you hold the controller sideways in both ands and merely manipulate it in space to change directions and set your car up for a smooth landing after a larger-than-life jump, this system will be not only fun, but intuitive to play.

Another reason I’m so confident goes back to the Miller vs. Bud analogy. After the ads proclaiming Miller’s ineligibility for the “race”, Miller weakly filed a lawsuit (and lost). Sony has done the equivalent, by adding “tilt” functionality to their controller at the last minute. It’s clearly a last-ditch effort to damper some of the effect of Nintendo’s unveiling of their gyroscope controller several months back Before you even think this means they’re going to be able to offer the same game play, hold your collective Clydesdale horses. This is NOT the same as what the Nintendo “Wii-mote” has to offer.

First of all, the Sony controller only offers 6 direction tilting (forward-backward, left-right, and up-down). This is fine and dandy for some things (like flight similar, such as the game ‘Warhawk’ which Sony demoed this feature on), but does not offer near the same game-play options as the Wii’s control. Not only can the Wii-mote sense complete three-dimensional movement (different than tilting in that the system can sense when the controller actually moves in each direction, as well as when it tilts), allowing for complex functional activities such as swinging a tennis racquet, a golf club, or slicing with a sword). On top of that, the analog attachment, which can be plugged into the controller (this one is dubbed the “Nunchuk”) to provide for more game-play elements (allowing movement of a character while aiming with the Wii-mote, for instance), also has motion sensing capabilities. This allows for very integrated game play such as the Zelda example used earlier where the player controls movement with the left (nunchak) hand, while aiming or swinging with the right hand, while also performing accessory movements like blocking or hitting people with the shield.

The third and final reason I’m confident enough to guarantee Nintendo’s success is the price-point. The system is expected to debut at around $200, or possibly even less. The PS3, on the other hand, is expected to debut at a price similar to the XBox 360, or between $400-$600. This not only gives Nintendo a distinct advantage for people in the market for one gaming system, but (and possibly more importantly) opens it up to be everybody’s second favorite. Now I’m not saying this is Nintendo’s goal, or what will happen. I’m simply pointing out that anyone in the market to own two systems is more likely to buy the Nintendo Wii as one of those systems for the more diverse games it will bring to the table, as well as the fact that buying not one, but two $600 systems would be more than a little bit cost prohibitive (Pictured above and left, 'Red Steel').

So are you ready for a Revolution? As soon as I heard that ‘Zelda: Twilight Princess’ would be launched simultaneously on the Gamecube and Wii (of course with much added functionality on the Wii) as a launch-day title, I made up my mind that I will pre-order. Call me a Nintendo junkie, call me a blind follower, call me whatever you want. But I’m excited, and I think you gamers everywhere should be too!

The Braves Are Going To Get Their 15th Straight Division Title

One of the biggest reasons that I wanted to come back to the Village Tavern was to be able to write some blog articles about the Atlanta Braves. Having spent the majority of my life in Georgia, the Braves have always been my favorite professional sports team. In fact, my earliest memory is a Braves game that my family attended for my 6th birthday in 1988. I don’t remember much about the game itself, but I remember the view from our seats halfway up the third base line. I also remember getting sunburned on my legs. Granted, these aren’t great baseball insights, but, then again, I was only six years old. The next year (1989), my family attended a dinner and baseball clinic that the Atlanta organization put on for the fans. I took grounders from Mark Lemke and spent sometime on the field of Atlanta Fulton County Stadium (fondly called the “Launching Pad” because of its propensity to yield home runs). Other early games that I attended include the 1991 NLCS game 1 against the Pittsburgh Pirates (Bobby Bonilla, Andy Van Slyke, and Barry Bonds were all on this Pirates team) and a LA Dodgers game that year (it was Darryl Strawberry’s first season with the Dodgers and everyone was wearing Strawberry foam hats - remember, I was 9 so I was focused in on the nuisances of the game).

I give you all of this background just to prove that I was raised a Braves fan and have been a loyal follower ever since that time (when a team is as successful as the Braves, you get a lot of bandwagon fans). Furthermore, I’m knowledgeable about the Braves because I’ve been following them consistently since 1991. Given my knowledge of this team’s history, I can safely say that the Braves are going to win their 15th straight division title. As I write this article, the Braves are 16-19, sitting 6.0 games behind the New York Mets. They’ve been as many as 9 games behind the Mets thus far this season. Following the Braves this season, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that their run is over. The Mets are too good and too dominant; the Braves are too young and inexperienced. While the Braves maybe younger than most of their previous years (except last year when some of these same players were rookies), they have plenty of talent and experience to win the division title. Let’s examine the facts:

1. The Braves have one of the game’s best players in his prime in Andruw Jones. Andruw had a monster year last year when he turned 28 at the beginning of the season. He’s now 29 and firmly entrenched in the prime years of his career (historically, the prime years for a major league baseball position players are 28-34). Regardless of how the baseball writer’s voted last season, he was the Most Valuable Player on any team last year (by the way, we need a definitive ruling on the actual meaning of this award since every league treats it differently: in baseball, it’s the person with the best all-around number (Pujolos); in basketball, it’s the player who’s most indispensable to his team (Nash the past two seasons); in football, it’s the guy that has a record setting season (Peyton the year before and then Alexander this season)). Andruw will continue to put up these kinds of numbers this season. Also, it’s not just straight numbers with Andruw. He probably saves 2-3 runs a week with his defense in center field (8 consecutive Gold Gloves), and no National Player is better in the clutch (see 21 game-winning RBI and 19 late-inning home runs last season).

2. The Mets record is skewed by playing bad teams. Before this week, the Mets had played 1 team with a record above .500. I’m sorry, but if you are a good team (and let’s be honest, the Mets are good team - definitely talented enough to challenge for the division title and the wild card), you should be off to a great start when the schedule makers help you out so much. As the season progresses, the Mets will have to play more teams with records above .500, and their record will suffer because of it. You can already see this effect beginning to occur as the Braves have made up 3 games on the Mets since their series closed last Sunday (the Mets played the above .500 Phillies and the .500 Brewers this week).

3. The Braves sophomores aren’t really slumping. Much has been made of the supposed sophomore struggles of many of the Braves 2nd year players (specifically OF Ryan Langerhans, C Brian McCann, and OF Jeff Francoeur). While Jeff’s average has suffered early in the season (remember he came up last July and hit .300 with 14 HR’s, 45 RBI’s), he’s still been putting up decent RBI and HR numbers (he’s currently on pace for 28 HR’s and 120 RBI’s while “struggling”). Furthermore, in the last 10 games, Francoeur has begun to improve his batting average hitting by hitting .326 in that span along with a 10-game hitting streak. His early season struggles are just part of the adjustment to Major League Baseball. When you come up as a rookie, you have an advantage as a hitter because teams do not have a great scouting report against you. As you get more plate appearances (1/2 of a season’s worth from last year), teams can develop a way to pitch you. The hitter must then learn how teams are pitching him and make the necessary adjustments. Jeff is beginning to make these adjustments over the last 10 games. McCann is actually hitting 69 points higher this season than last (.347 compared to .278). Ryan Langerhans is hitting for the exact same batting average that he has in each of his major league seasons (.267). I think it’s safe to say that the “slump” talk has been overblown.

4. The Mets don’t have the starting pitching to match the Braves over the course of the season. I’ll give you that Pedro and Glavine are a solid 1-2 combination at the beginning of a rotation (even if they are old and susceptible to breaking down), but it’s hard to have worse 3, 4, and 5 starters than the Mets. Steve Trachsel, Jeremi Gonzalez, and Jose Lima are hardly the kind of pitching depth you want when you are trying to knock-off the 14-time defending champs. Trachsel’s ERA is 4.91, Lima’s currently sits at 9.31, and Gonzalez is coming off two right elbow surgeries in the past two seasons. The Mets may have a potent offense, but it isn’t nearly good enough to carry these 3 sub-par starters all season long. You need deep starting pitching to be successful over the course of a 162 game season.

In conclusion, it’s still really early in the season. I’m not sure why everyone has been so quick to dismiss the Braves’ chances at a fifteenth straight division title. Hopefully my arguments have made you think twice before you dismiss this team like all of the “experts” have done. There is a reason that lifetime baseball guys tell you not to check the standings until the end of May.

I'm Back

After a much maligned and sudden retirement several months ago, I’ve had plenty of time to think. All of this thinking led me to the realization that I miss writing for this blog. Fortunately for the VT, my timing couldn’t have been better. Sexley has decided that he’s better off writing his own blog on his website (which is more of a journal so his friends can read about the day-to-day details of his life – lame), so the VT is left without its all important third-wheel. On a day when an all-time great (yet underrated) Jacksonville WR Jimmy Smith suddenly retires, I’m attempting to balance out his loss by once again blogging.


Even though I was absent in writing form these past few months, I wanted all of our loyal readers to know that I was still playing an integral part in the day-to-day (let’s be honest, once-a-week-by-once-a-week) operations of the VT. I was pushing Mark’s buttons, challenging Ek to realize that the majority of the VT fan’s didn’t care that he was spending all of his free time with Emily, and unsuccessfully trying to cajole James into writing more than one article in 3+ months of “contributing.” I finally came to the realization that the VT would be better served if I just wrote my opinions and thoughts. Now that I’m a few months older and wiser, I hope not to fall into the same traps I did the first time I was a VT member (promising specific articles that I never got around to writing, starting articles and never finishing them, etc.). Look for my first new contribution in a couple of days.

Favre-able Odds?

The recent back-flipping of the Caesar’s Palace Fountains by Mike Metzger got me in the Vegas mood. After our Fantasy Football Draft there last summer, the gambling itch (which I always had) has been kept fairly dormant for almost a year now. But like I said I’ve got the itch, so I have to do something.

And so, in memory of the Annual Brett Favre retirement saga coming to a close recently, I’ve put together a list of possible outcomes for the NEXT (notice I’m not going to write last) for Brett in Green Bay, accompanied by the odds. Please feel free to place bets with the comments feature, and only time will tell, but you could be the lucky winner!

But before present my list of possibilities and their accompanying odds, let me sound off on Brett Favre a little bit (think of it as the equivalent of “The Burn” segment on Jim Rome’s show… ouch, I just made a Romey reference, and it wasn’t really negative…).

I still can’t get over the egotism Brett Favre has displayed over the past few months, and even, somewhat, over the past few seasons. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy watching Brett Favre play. I even kind of like him, from what I know of him. I love his passion, love his gunslinger mentality, love his toughness. And I’m one of the people in his camp as far as thinking he can still be successful for another couple of seasons. Think about it, the Packers traded or let go (via free agency) over half of their O-line before last season, lost their top three RB’s to injuries by mid season (over-rated as they may be), and lost their best weapon on offense in the first game of the season (don’t underestimate the fact that Javon Walker was THE PERFECT type of receiver for Brett Favre: fast, created separation, big, and one of the best in the league at making adjustments to slightly off-target balls). And they had a completely horrendous defense to boot.

All of that being said, Brett Favre hasn’t been a team player. He’s left his team in a precarious position by delaying his decision time and again. He’s blatantly balked at the idea of tutoring Aaron Rogers while he is around (which, from a veteran and supposed leader of your team, is disrespectful at the least). He recently made the off the cough remark, “What, are they gonna cut me?” when answering questions about when he would make his decision. Of course they aren’t, but what kind of leader says that? That comment alone shows that he puts himself above the team.

The above situations show his poor leadership for the franchise, but there is one more point I’d like to make about his poor leadership as a TEAMMATE. Last season, in the off-season Brett Farve decided that it was his business to comment on Javon Walker’s contract situation. Walker is GROSSLY underpaid (something like $600K, for a guy who had been a Top 5 reciever). And while it’s easy to side with the Packers after seeing what Drew Rosenhaus did to the T.O. situation, his case shouldn’t be disregarded because of the (deserved) stigma associated with Rosenhaus. But even the contract situation is besides the point, to some regard. Did Brett Favre offer to give pack part of his large salary after throwing 29 INT’s last season? Of course not. Has he ever signed a contract extension BEFORE his current contract was over? You bet ya’. So just because Javon, who basically wanted to do the same thing in order to get a large signing bonus, asked the Packers to do the same thing for him (rather than the other way around), Javon’s being selfish and hurting the team? Interesting… But my point is this, would a real team leader call out his teammate on national TV, instead of calling him and trying to influence personally? No. And as a result, Javon eventually caved, in order to help the team. The result? He tore his ACL in the first game of the season and lost MILLIONS of dollars. Thanks Brett.

And without further ado (if Rob ever reads this site, I just used ‘Ado’ in a sentence, proving once and for all that it is a legitimate word for Speed Scrabble), here are my odds on the each possibility for how Favre’s season will play out:

Another 4-12 Season: 3 To 2
Seems like a possibility. They still won’t have Walker (who got traded to Denver at the bargain basement price of a 2nd Round Draft pick), Ahman Green isn’t getting any younger, and the defense is relying on a rookie (AJ Hawk) to lead the defense’ resurgence.

The Flip Flop (Packers go 12-4): 50 To 1
Not looking good for this team. They just didn’t do enough to improve. On the flip side, the RB’s will be healthier, the schedule should be “BEAR-able”, playing in the very weak NFC-North, and, well, this is the NFL.

The Wash (8-8): 10 To 1
This would be a considerable improvement. Considering how many close games the Packers lost last year though, it’s not out of the realm of possibility to go .500 for the season.

The Cinderella Story (win the Super Bowl): 1,000,000,000 To 1
Yeah… well, you have to put odds on it. Anyone who takes the bet is an idiot, but that’s okay.

Favre Saves his Legacy (a Wild Card birth and a win in the playoffs): 100 To 1
I’m probably in the minority, but this is what I think it will take to erase the memories of this off-season for a lot of fans (not actual GB fans, who will love Favre till the day they die, not matter what he does). The misconception of this past year for Favre is that going 4-12 will taint his legacy, when in reality his foolish behavior this off-season is more likely to have tainted it. However, winning heals all wounds, so a playoff win would erase a lot of the negativity.