Sunday, April 25, 2010

Rock 'n Jock

After watching the Bulls collapse earlier today, I came to realize that a basketball team isn't that different from a rock band - there's about the same number of people on stage/the court at the same time, and you need the right mix of talent, chemistry, and knowledge/acceptance of roles in order to be successful. So here's my take on how the comparison breaks down.


Scorers = Guitar Players: In both cases, you need to have at least one good one, but more than two always gets complicated over time, and more than three simply doesn't work at all. There's arguably more skill involved here than at any of the other positions, and a great one can single-handedly carry a team or band to the next level. On the other hand, the importance of these guys is heavily overrated, both in their own minds and by casual fans. Plus, everyone filling the other roles has probably at least dabbled in it at some point and deep down thinks/knows they could do a better job. While really great ones are rare, decent ones can be found at every subway stop, and for every one of those, there are about ten guys who think they are decent at it but would probably be better off trying something else.

Point Guards = Singers: There's more than one way to do it right and people need to embrace their own style to have any hope - ultimately, most people either know how to handle themselves here innately or they're unlikely to ever figure it out. The most important rule for both is not to forget that there are other people out there with them, because this position has the most potential to make everyone else happy or miserable. In other words, not being a huge douche bag is half of the battle. This makes the '90s Bulls the equivalent of a badass thrash metal band that was able to kick tail despite the lack of anything resembling decent singing.

Rebounding = Bass Players: Frequently goes unnoticed, except when either dominating or incompetent, which is when most people realize "holy crap, this is actually really important." Also, bass players are almost never the biggest personalities or troublemakers in a band, they generally get along with everyone, and while the rebounders frequently piss off opponents, everyone loves the rebounders on their own team...mostly because it allows them to go do something else that they'll get more glory for.

Screens/Cut/Off-the-ball Movement = Drumming: Watching an NBA team that is bad at this is boring, just like listening to a band with a bad drummer is boring. Actually, the bad drummer might be more entertaining because of the Rex Grossman Entertainment Factor, where you have to keep watching just to see if everyone else can actually manage to keep it together. Either you understand where I'm coming from already or I can't explain it to you.

Defense = Songwriting: Only the real die-hards spend a lot of time thinking about it, and the existing system seems to be increasingly rigged against those who are good at it, but if it isn't there, you aren't going anywhere. There's a few cases where a weakness here has been overcome, but only when every other aspect is absolutely nailed - think the Phoenix Suns this decade or Dream Theater.

Coach = Producer: People always expect changes here to make a drastic difference, mostly because they're fun to speculate about, but in reality, most of them do the same handful of things, so it only matters a lot if you have one of the top five guys in the country or someone that is just horrifically incompetent. Due to the first part of the last sentence, they are always the first one to get the axe when expectations aren't being met, and due to the last part, it almost never solves the problem since continuity here is way more important than marginal improvements in quality.

NBA Officials = The Music Industry: They work hard and there are times when they get it right, but for the most part, they're pretty incompetent, they reward past success and expected future success (a.k.a. hype) more than they pay attention to what is actually happening in front of them, and it is at least possible that they're taking bribes.

2 comments:

Mac said...

If rebounders=bass players (and I think it's a good comparison), does that make Dennis Rodman like Sting? He was the most vibrant personality on that Bulls team (and, while only the third best player, but clearly a HOFer in my book) from an unconventional role: rebounder who played great defense and almost never scored.

Just a non-music type's thoughts. Glad you're bringing back the tavern Ekwall!

Ek said...

Somehow I doubt that Sting "almost never scored." Although both fall into the small group of rebounders/bass players that actually preferred to be the center of attention and sometimes clashed with team/band mates.

I actually think the most obvious comparison from the '90s Bulls is MJ and Dave Mustaine of Megadeth - both otherwordly talents that internalized every real and perceived slight and held grudges even well after their greatness was universally acknowledged. Both of them allowed their crazy competitive streak to keep them from getting along with people over long periods of time, even though they absolutely had to have been fun to work with. Plus, Mustaine's arm injury could be compared to MJ's baseball hiatus.