16 Brothers I'd Like to Smash

Since the VT is on the subject of video games for the moment, I figured now would be the time to write an article about one of my favorite games from the last line of consoles – specifically, Super Smash Brothers Melee. What made this game so great was that it finally provided an opportunity to prove, once and for all, who amongst your friends really was the best at the old-school, platform-jumping games, which had previously not been provided (with the notable exception of the extra head-to-head game in Mario Bros. 3).

The only real gripe with the game to this point is the characters that have been chosen – not that they lack balance or don't allow for different playing styles, but they leave out too many of the iconic heroes of video game lore, while including characters like Young Link, NES, Captain Falcon, Falco, those two Japanese guys with swords nobody had ever heard of, and about sixteen characters from Pokemon.

Fortunately, the Village Tavern is here to help. Here's my top 16 video games characters that haven't appeared in Smash Bros. yet and should...

16.Worm
Series: Worms

While these brave and creative little worm warriors might even be second to Earthworm Jim or (“Puta Earthworm James”) as the most famous video game worms, but after their games took up a solid portion of my freshman year, I'd be more than willing to see a worm running around with the Ninja Rope, Parachute, Bazooka, and Holy Hand Grenade, and I'd be even more excited to pick up mad cows, a Super Banana Bomb, or Concrete Donkey at the end of a close Smash Bros. game.

15. Diablo
Series: Diablo

As my friend Noho was once fond of saying: “Make no mistake: Diablo is a badass.” And while he probably wouldn't be that different from Bowser, he could provide a faster “heavyweight” character, and it would be an excuse to include a Chaos Sanctuary level where a horde of minions came and wiped everyone out every time someone stepped on a seal.

14. Wario
Series: Mario Brothers

Wario has long been one of the more mysterious characters in the Mario Brothers Universe. Wario sometimes appears as a villain and sometimes as a pseudo-hero, and it's unclear whether he's somehow related to Mario and Luigi, if him and Walugi are the Mario Brothers from the backwards Bizzaro World, or if they are the result of a failed cloning experiment by Bowser's scientist kid (at least I think one of the Koopalings was supposed to be a scientist). Anyway, Wario's the only one on this list that I can confirm actually will be in the new Smash Brothers Game, so I'll throw out the idea of having him drive around his Mario Kart in the game...this would make him a different character, as opposed to a slower and stronger version of his alter-ego/stepbrother/original form Mario. I also think a case could be made that the MarioKart spinoff has become an iconic series in its own right on the level of anything but the original SMB series and Zelda, so it should be represented. At the very least, I think the Lightning Bolt and Lead Killer could be incorporated as weapons.

13. Donatello
Series: TMNT

What was great about the Ninja Turtles was that each one had something going for them: Leonardo was the de facto leader and could be considered the “main character” to the extent the series had one, Raphael was the most nuanced and interesting as a character, and Michaelangelo got most of the funny lines. While Donatello's “inventor” gimmick was kind of lame, his true strength was that he was the Turtle that dominated every TMNT video game ever made. This is primarily because his weapon was so much longer than those of the other Ninja Turtles...

12. Shang Tsung
Series: Mortal Kombat

Ok, Shang Tsung's actual powers were a little bit lame, but it would be nice to see the MK series represented, and it's also a fun idea to have a guy in there who could morph into some of the other characters. That, and I would enjoy watching Pikachu getting his spine ripped out.

11. Ryu
Series: Ninja Gaiden

While the 8-bit Ninja Gaiden games may not be among the first old Nintendo games you'd rush to go back and play, they definitely had their following. The series has enjoyed a renaissance in recent years thanks to Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden Black for the Xbox and Ninja Gaiden Sigma for the PS3 (all of which, by the way, are more or less the same game). I could imagine a character modeled after the more recent version of Ryu being tons of fun to play, especially if one remembers that the purpose of the Ninja is to flip out and kill people...

10. Falling Blocks
Series: Tetris

Ok, I admit that this one is way off the beaten path, but honestly if there's one video game series that you can play for hours on end with darn near anybody, it's Tetris, and I think it would be fun to try and crush the other players with falling Tetris blocks. You could go a few different directions with this one, too – there could just be an item where you drop Tetris garbage on your enemies, or you could get smashed when your blocks get knocked up to the top, or the blocks could morph into some block-man juggernaut once you create a gold square. I might think about this a little too much.

9. Sam Fisher
Series: Splinter Cell

I suppose I'm kind of getting my wish with this one, since Snake (from Metal Gear) is being included in the new game, and he and Sam are essentially the same person at different stages in their careers. Still, Sam possessed a nice array of close-range attacks, and could shoot sticky shockers and sleeping gas cameras all over the place, so I think this would work.

8. Diddy Kong
Series: Donkey Kong Country (among others)

DK's answer to “mini-me” has, for reasons unknown, so far been uninvited to the Smash Brothers Party. I mean sure, last time he was around the rug got some nasty stains and we had to reupholster the couch, but what do you expect, he's a monkey? And besides, if you're going to have Mario and Luigi or Link and Young Link, doesn't it make sense to have Donkey and Diddy, especially considering that there actually were some differences between those two?

7. Master Hand
Series: Smash Brothers

It would be weird to control, and I can't say I miss the ability to use it a ton, but seriously, in what other fighting game can you not play with the end boss after you've beaten it on single player mode?

6. Blanka
Series: Street Fighter

Like most people, I was first exposed to the one-on-one, arcade tournament fighter game by Street Fighter II, which also helped start the trend of making nine sequels to a game and never going higher than “III” on the Roman Numeral count (instead using “editions”). While enjoying and promoting this sort of mano-a-mano violent competition amongst animals can end (somewhat) promising NFL careers, all that it cost me to fight simulated humans against each other was bags and bags of quarters. Anyway, my favorite, and probably the most memorable, fighter in that game was Blanka, who for reasons unexplained was a green electrified mutant. Maybe I liked him because he was one of the few video game personalities with more chest hair than me, or maybe it was because as a kid I couldn't figure out any special moves other than the crouching electric shock.

5. The Master Chief
Series: Halo

As much of a letdown as Halo 2 was, it's hard to ignore the fact that the Chief is the closest thing the new generation of video game heroes has to a potential Mario or Link. And if you give him a plasma pistol, some sticky grenades, and some smash moves with the energy sword, he'd indeed be formidable. Unfortunately, with Sony's gaming division on the fast track to bankruptcy, the Master Chief represents the face (or non-transparent visor) of Nintendo's real competition, so it will probably never happen.

4. Sonic the Hedgehog
Series: Sonic the Hedgehog

Let's face it: the cold war with Sega is long over. I'm pretty sure you can even play old Sega games on the Wii now. And since the Sega really only produced one memorable platforming series (which is probably why it lost), it's high time it was remembered properly.

3. Mega Man
Series: Mega Man

As arguably the most versatile video game hero ever (once you were near the end of the game, anyway) and the star of about twenty classic (if kind of similar) games, this should be an absolute no-brainer. They only hard part is choosing which of the many weapons in the Mega Man series to equip him with.

2. Simon Belmont
Series: Castlevania

This is comparable to Mega Man as a noteworthy slight in the SSB series. Or one spot ahead of it in my mind, apparently. It's so obvious I don't even really feel the need to explain it.

1. Bo Jackson
Series: Tecmo Bowl (among others)

As a sports website first, the Village Tavern would be remiss if we did not include the greatest video game athlete of all time on our list. While one might naturally assume this should be a star from the video game era such as Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Barry Bonds, Greg Maddux, Barry Sanders, or Peyton Manning, but instead, it's a backup running back from the Raiders who could also play a little baseball. Exceeding the abilities of even running backs on historical teams like Walter Payton and Jim Brown, Bo Jackson was capable of tossing multiple defenders aside and taking the rock to the house from anywhere on the field, even against defenses schemed specifically against him. Not even the great Jeremy Roenick could match Bo's greatness, and he was good.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess [A Review]

After a long absence from contributing to the VT, I figured I needed to tackle something I’m very passionate about to make an effective return. Anyone who knows me, knows ‘The Legend of Zelda’ series is one of my passions. What follows is the first videogame review for the VT, a review of ‘The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess’ for the Nintendo Wii.

Story: 7.5
At first ‘Twilight Princess’ starts off just like almost every other Zelda game; Link, a young boy on the verge of manhood, wakes up to a day that will change his life forever. The princess is in danger, he’s a hero chosen by the gods, and the Triforce will somehow be stuck in there in ways that might, or might not (likely not, in fact) be fully explained. Link will gradually become a man, travel to the remote areas of the world, and will be forced to stop Gannon(dorf), whether or not the story had anything to do with him when it first began. Add improvements, and repeat.
Let’s be honest, actual story telling is not the strength of this series; and no one cares. As ‘Twilight Princess’ advances, the story actually has a surprising amount of gravity to it; at least for a Zelda game. Link’s new companion, Midna, along with the inclusion of the Twilight realm creates a story with enough new twists to at least keep you interested between challenging puzzles and action sequences.

Gameplay: 10.0
This is where the Legend of Zelda has always shined; and the day that this changes is the day Nintendo needs to retire the series for good (may it never happen!). ‘Twilight Princess’ keeps intact the basic control scheme of targeting to handle difficulties involved with controlling a character in a 3-D world developed for ‘Ocarina of Time’, with only minor improvements. The changes are minor, but that’s fine because it’s still the best control scheme for a 3-D game ever developed.
The biggest change in control comes due to the fact that this game is played with a Wii-mote and Nunchuk attachment. The game designers have done an excellent job of transferring the controls to the modified button configuration, while greatly improving control aspects involving targeting, such as shooting a bow or aiming the hookshot. Oh yeah, and and when you swing the Wii-mote or Nunchuck, you swing your sword or shield, respectively. It’s not a 1:1 scheme, which has upset many people, and feels just slightly tacked-on (remember, this was originally a Gamecube game). However, it never detracts at all form the experience, and frequently adds to it.
The combat system has also evolved one step beyond ‘Wind Waker’, which implemented the “Parry” technique into combat. There are now 6 specialty attack techniques, which must be acquired throughout the course of the game. While not a revolutionary step, it’s a very nice addition to an already streamlined combat system.

Difficulty: 8.5
When ‘Wind Waker’ came out for the Gamecube, many people just couldn’t handle the dramatic graphical shift. My biggest complaint, however, with ‘Wind Waker’ was the difficulty of the game. The game had good length, and the puzzles were as mentally challenging as any Zelda game prior. The fighting, however, lacked any real challenge. I think the only time I actually had to continue in the game was when I playfully attacked an animal (I giant pig) until it back lashed enough to kill me; sadly, I wasn’t carrying a fairy in a bottle at the time.
This is a problem that ‘Twilight Princess’, for the most part, rectifies. The action sequences are significantly more challenging, even if a skilled player will rarely be in true danger of dying. The puzzles are also challenging, and fairly fresh. The one thing that seems to really hurt the challenge of the game is the unevenness off the difficulty level. One dungeon can be infinitely more difficult than another, and it has nothing to do with the sequence in which the dungeons are completed. On top of that, the end boss fight, while fairly long and creative, isn’t particularly difficult. As a result, the game ends on a bit of an anti-climax from an action-sense, which is really a shame.

Graphics: 8.0
The graphics in ‘Twilight Princess’ neither lead the gamer to be impressed nor leave him or her greatly disappointed. It’s pretty much a good looking, but not great looking game. No one will confuse it with an XBox360 or PS3 game, and most can easily see the game for the Gamecube port that it is. That being said, it’s a very good-looking Gamecube game. While some are sure to be disappointed by these facts, I never found the graphics distractingly poor, and enjoyed seeing a Zelda game that takes the more “realistic” graphical approach (as opposed to ‘Wind Waker’, which was an enjoyable shift in its own right) in action.

Value: 10.0
I’m a notoriously thorough gamer when it comes to the Zelda series. As a result, I’m quite slow when it comes to beating these games. I like to leave, literally, no stone unturned, no blade of grass uncut, and no pot unbroken. With two very minor side quests not quite completed (don’t worry, I’ll be going back to complete them!), I finished the game after a lengthy 83 hours of gameplay. If anyone can find a single-player game out there that provides that kind of longevity, please let me know what games it is, and if it’s any good!

Legacy: Everybody’s Second Favorite
Is it the best Zelda game ever? That was the hype surrounding the ‘Twilight Princess’ when it was released, and it’s high praise to have to live up to! Keep in mind that numerous publications gave ‘The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time’ not only a 10.0/10.0 ranking, but touted it as the best video game of all time when it came out for the N64 many years ago. Even those who disagreed couldn’t argue with the fact that many people thought that; it was just an exceptional game.
So where does ‘Twilight Princess’ fit in? Unfortunately, that is an answer I’m not sure I can fully give. The game is excellent. It fits right in the upper tier of all-time video games, just like ‘A Link to the Past’, ‘Ocarina of Time’, and ‘Wind Waker’ (many people would dispute the virtues of this game, but I would argue for it as the 2nd most enjoyable game in the series, after ‘A Link to the Past’, and the numerous Game of the Year awards it won would seem to support that). If I had to guess, when more time has passed and fans of the series can look back at ‘Twilight Princess’ more objectively, I see it become many people’s second favorite, but not many people’s favorite. It does everything well, it just doesn’t stand out in any way. ‘A Link to the Past’ is more fun, ‘Ocarina of Time was more ground-breaking (introducing 3-D graphics/controls, and expanding the scope of all video games to a new level), and ‘Wind Waker’ provided the most unique experience of them all. In the end it has many of the best aspects of the previous Zelda games wrapped into one complete package; it just doesn’t have any elements that it can stand on as its claim to glory all on its own.