Is Anyone Still There?

Does anyone else realize that we have 3 straight posts about video games? I know that the last entry was dated in October, which means it only took me 6 months to figure that out, but that is still unacceptable. I may have to announce my 2nd comeback again (a la MJ with the Wizards) so we can get back to our first love of sports. If we can get 3 legit comments to this post, I'll write about my Masters' experience with Yates. There are some funny stories that I still haven not told about that weekend. If that goes well (big if), I may even find the urge to write about my beloved Hawks in the playoffs for the first time in 9 years, my hopeful plans for the Falcons to draft Glenn Dorsey with the 3rd overall pick this Saturday, and why I feel the Braves are at a crossroads during this season. So get excited (or if you know me, expect this little update to be my last post for the next six months)...

Bring On The Commercials

Note: This article was originally drafted over a year ago. So, why bring it out now? Well, the 2nd best thing about the Super Bowl (and it is a DISTANT second) are the commercials that air during the game. Companies spend millions of dollars for a few seconds of air time, and there is always a big competition to have the best Super Bowl commercial. So, in light of all the great commercials that we will hopefully be seeing soon, I thought I would take a look back at one of my favorite commercials of all-time. I hope you enjoy it.


The Greatest Short Film of All-Time (or at least this week).

Those of you that actually interact with me on a daily basis know how obsessed I can get thinking that some new (or even old) song, movie, or book is currently the greatest thing in the world. This phase with the song/movie/book will probably last anywhere from two days to three weeks before I burn out and move on to something else. Hopefully, it is because I have just found the next greatest thing. Anyways, this entry is about the current greatest thing.

Before you read the rest of my entry, please do yourself a tremendous favor and go to this site. It should only take 1 minute of your time, and then just click back on your browser to return to this site. Go ahead, I’ll wait for you. What follows will make a lot more sense if you go to this page: Dr. Pepper.

Now, I know that everyone has seen this commercial many times. Some of you may even be sick of seeing it on TV at least a couple of times a day (if you are actually lucky enough to be able to watch TV). If you feel this way, I am asking that you please bear with me for a few minutes while I explain why this commercial is the greatest short film of all time (this week). Unfortunately for us, Television often only shows the shorter version of this masterpiece (probably due to Dr. Pepper’s desire to have more opportunities of showing the commercial for the same amount of money since advertising time is billed by the second). In fact, I hadn’t even realized that there was a longer version of the commercial until I searched for it on the internet today. Without further ado, I am going to walking you through the commercial in hopes of explaining why it is the greatest of all time.

Convenient Store Scene:
The first thing that strikes you is the piano. I can think of few better (or more widely recognized) songs for a commercial than Meat Loaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love…” It sets the tone for the direction that the commercial is going to take. You know instantly that the commercial is going to be about sacrifices and choices that one makes for the sake of love. The great thing is that you are able to glean all of this information before anything happens. As far as you can tell, a man is simply walking along the Convenient Store aisles looking for something in particular (we’ve all been there).

Next the director chooses to zoom in on the object that is the purpose behind this man’s search. We are stunned to see that it is a box of tampons. At this moment, it is almost as if the actor feels our hesitation/uneasiness with the situation – he reaches for a box and then pulls his hand back. He cringes, looks around, and hesitates as the camera pans to a shot of his girlfriend in the car. At this moment, it is as if a light bulb goes off in our heads - this must be one of the choices our hero must make for the sake of love. Clearly this girl is the girl whose love he is willing to make sacrifices for. Reaffirmed by a sweet (yet manipulative) smile from his girlfriend in the car, our hero removes the box of tampons and heads towards the cashiers station. It is important to notice that our hero is very aware of the sacrifice he is currently making and that he is still very uncomfortable with the situation. He is carrying the box to the register using what I like to term the “open palm” method. This method, while allowing everyone to see what the hero is carrying (good for the commercial), allows the box to be held in such a way that all of the customers of the store (not pictured) will know that he doesn’t want to be holding it. He makes his away towards the cashier with eyes darting back and forth across the store and a nod to the clerk. The clerk has an incredible smirk on his face that just screams, “You are a whipped!”
After the shot of the clerk’s smirk, the director immediately cuts to the hero standing at the register while the clerk calls for a price check over the speaker system in the convenient store – a despicable move that adds to the burden of sacrifice for our hero. Appalled at his now more precarious position, our hero turns around to face the others in the store. Mercifully, the next scene shows him carrying the box of tampons out of the store while also carrying a few cans of Dr. Pepper; sacrifice number one complete.

Laundry Mat Scene:
This second scene (or sacrifice) begins with a shot inside a laundry mat. Our hero is seen next to the girl from the car folding laundry. Initially, we cannot see the particular garment that is being folded because of the large white T-shirt being folded by the girlfriend. As soon as we have the setting, the film cuts to a close-up shot of the “happy couple” that has the girlfriend folding a sports T-shirt (number 35 on the back) and the hero folding a pair of see-through women’s underwear. The hero looks perplexed as he tries to fold them. We are then shown the reactions of other people in the laundry mat, and things do not look good for our hero. He is getting questioning looks from the other people. Our hero looks up from folding the underwear in time to make nervous, uncomfortable eye-contact with these fellow laundry mat patrons.
As if sensing he is uncomfortable and to demonstrate her level of appreciativeness for the sacrifice, the girlfriend leans in to kiss our hero as he still struggles to properly fold the see-through underwear. The smile on our hero’s face after the kiss suggests to us that he feels the sacrifice is well worth any embarrassment he may feel. We are left to assume it is for the love of the girlfriend. For some reason, there is also a Dr. Pepper bottle visible in this last shot. It appears with the cap off and a sizeable portion of the sugary sweetness missing. End of scene.

Yoga Lesson:
(Disclaimer: I think this is yoga, but seeing as how I’ve never done yoga or any group exercise thing, I could be wrong. It might be Pilates. Regardless, it is irrelevant because our hero shouldn’t be doing it – this much is clear). This is a quick scene where we are able to see our hero perform two moves that look extremely uncomfortable and unnatural. He exchanges a forced smile and waves at his lady while lying on his back with his legs extended over his head. Curiously, there is also a Dr. Pepper can sitting on the floor beside him.
One more side note, it should be pointed out that our hero is dressed in what I would term as “traditional women’s workout attire.” He is wearing a purple shirt, which could be ok with the right bottom piece (just kidding, pair of shorts). He’s also wearing what appear to be cut-off sweat pants. Definitely not kosher, and our hero appears to be making some tremendous sacrifices for love.

Dressing Room (new scene found in the extended version – previously unreleased):
This scene opens with our hero holding a few dresses for his girlfriend in addition to her pink purse and a bottle of Dr. Pepper. I’m beginning to pick up on the fact that Dr. Pepper maybe a theme throughout this commercial, but I could be wrong. A quick look at his face tells you that he’s in a difficult position. In fact, I can imagine that he is in the classic boyfriend/husband situation where the significant other asks you how she looks in a dress. We’ve all been there, and unfortunately we all know that we’ll be there again. The other key point in this scene is the manner with which our hero holds the pink purse. It may confuse some of you at first, but let me clarify it as I see it. First of all, he’s holding the purse by the very tip of its handles. He is also contracting his biceps so that the purse is in front of his chest. Now it may seem counter intuitive to hold the clearly embarrassing object in such a prominent position, but it is actually brilliant. First of all, it’s Murphy’s Law that if you are holding something you don’t want others to see, they will invariably see it regardless of your efforts to hide it. Secondly, our hero is holding the purse in such way (contracted biceps, in front of his chest) like you would hold something you thought was disgusting. I’m envisioning a new father holding a dirty diaper as he goes to throw it away. Regardless, it is clear that our hero has made another sacrifice (or has done “anything thing for love” as Meatloaf would sing).

Running In The Rain:

As the short film progresses to this scene, we are starting to notice that the music is rising to its climax. Our hero is seen running in the rain in a soaked pink shirt (is anyone else reminded of Ross from Friends?) and holding an open umbrella over his girlfriend. Curiously, he’s also holding a Dr. Pepper in his left hand. His girlfriend gets in the car, closes the umbrella, leaving our hero “uncovered” in the rain. It is important to note that it is a common theme in the history of literature and film to have key scenes take place in the rain. While our hero’s final decision ultimately is made in the next scene, it is important to note the manner in which he drinks the Dr. Pepper in the rain. He tilts his head way back in an act of defiance. Of course, we are not sure if his act is aimed at his girlfriend (whom appears to be walking all over him as the commercial goes on and on) or to the gods for causing the downpour. Regardless, we know that there will be resolution to our hero’s conflict in the next scene.

Final Scene: In the House
As we head to the final scene, there is only one question that is unanswered – “What is the thing that our hero won’t do for love?” It is with this frame-of-mind, that we come across our hero seated on the couch with his girlfriend lying across his lap. His face has a very troubled appearance on it as if he is mulling over some great question in his mind. Then, as if he has come to a final decision, he begins to smell her hair. As he smells her hair, she slyly reaches back with her hand and grabs his Dr. Pepper in order to steal a sip. Suddenly our hero is on the move right as we come to the part in the Meatloaf song where he emphasizes the line, “But I Won’t Do That.” He immediately heads to the front door, glances back at her with a defiant look (almost as if realizing he is now free from the many consequences/abuses that he has faced over the course of the film). He then exits the house and begins running down the road holding his Dr. Pepper. Our hero is happier than we have ever seen him throughout the commercial. He takes a sip as he glances back at his (now ex-)girlfriend before running off into the night.

The End.

Thank you for reading along with me as I explored this great advertising film. I hope that you enjoyed yourself as much as I did. Now, if you will excuse me, I think I’m going to go have a Dr. Pepper.

An Un-Inspired Re-Mix

You would think that someone whom enjoys blogging and writing (especially about sports) would have plenty to say after a five months of silence. You might also think that the given all that is currently going on in the world of sports (World Series, end of the PGA Tour season, the NFL season in full-swing, and the NBA season tipping off in less than a week), it would be easy to think of many topics to write about in an article. However, if you think that both of these things are true, you are mistaken – very mistaken.

Before I started typing this “article,” I was going to write about the top ten athletic achievements occurring in my lifetime. I thought it sounded like a great piece, and the idea stemmed from a question posed on my facebook profile wall by Owen Handy a few weeks ago. We were discussing the end of the Braves run of division titles, when I told him (rather off-handedly) that I felt it was one of the top three athletic accomplishments of my lifetime (yes, “3” was an arbitrary and random number I selected for no reason at all). Naturally for Owen (especially if you know him), he wanted to hear my thoughts. Here are his exact words (dated September 13th, 2006):

“What would you list as the ten most significant athletics accomplishments of your lifetime? As an aside, I feel obligated to say that when I was watching Agassi's final match as a professional I felt that I was watching one of the great sportsmen of my lifetime play for the last time, so I would also like to know the top 10 sportsmen of your lifetime. I realize that these may take some time.”

I have been completely stumped by this question. Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin. I have started cataloguing a few ideas (Tiger Woods will be prominently involved), but it is going to take me a lot longer to come up with a coherent list that I can truly say is my definitive Top Ten for either category. Sorry you are going to wait for a while longer for that one - the idea is just a bit too grandiose for me at the moment.

The next topic I thought about covering was the Sports Guy’s impending “retirement” from ESPN. He made a Tiki Barber reference in his NFL column today so that his fans won’t be completely surprised when he pulls a Barry Sanders in a few months. Here is his exact quote:

"By the way, in case you haven't heard, Tiki Barber has been plugging away for 10 years, and even though he has 2-3 solid years left in him, he's quitting this winter to pursue other ventures. Um, Tiki? That was gonna be my move! You stole my idea! I'm outraged! Now I'm going to look like a copycat if it happens. Great."

Now, Mark and I have discussed (quite often actually) his impending retirement. I found out a few months of ago as I was randomly searching on the internet and came across a very interesting and enlightening interview with him on Sports Illustrated’s website. He makes mention of the fact that he never wanted to just be the Sport’s Guy for his entire career and is ready to start pursuing other kinds of writing (ie, TV/movie scripts). Here’s a link to that Chris Ballard article (article), and I recommend it to any Bill Simmons fan out there (sidenote: I checked out the sons of the sports guy website mentioned in the article (SOTSG), and I thought it was the dumbest thing I have ever seen. Crap like this would make me seriously consider other options as well). However, I have decided that I would rather hold off comments on Simmons until his official retirement from ESPN at the end of winter.


Well, obviously you can see that I am struggling to come up with a topic to write about for this article. So, I started to think about what (in sports) have I devoted significant amounts of time towards in the past few months? Since I live in West Virginia and go to Medical School, I have not seen my Falcons play a single game this season. I haven’t watched any Braves games since the beginning of August, so I really can’t comment on the state of the team heading into next year. I have read every preview about my Atlanta Hawks this season, but I know that the franchise will never turn the corner until the ownership issue is settled (predicted to be settled before the playoffs by Scoop Jackson today in his NBA preview – thank God). Thus, there is no real point in really commenting (however, since I cannot resist commenting, here’s a quick summary – we will battle the Bobcats for the last spot in the Southeastern Division all year. Shocking, I know). So, I have decided to take the easy way out for this post. I am going to publish an unfinished response (that is going to be EXTREMELY dated) to Mark’s article back from October 25, 2005 (almost one year ago today) with new comments added in italics. I realize this kind of article is not the kind of high level work many of you have come to expect from the VT, but I do think it is still an enjoyable article. Also, I am finishing up another quality, unfinished article from that same time period. I am going to get both articles up this weekend, and hopefully two old (but new to you) columns can/will fulfill my quota for the month of October. Before you read what is below, check out Mark’s original VT article “Fantasy Football’s Most Robust Performers,” so that you can be familiar with the ideas I am responding to below. Here’s a link.

******

Below is the article where I last left it almost a year to the day. There are unfinished thoughts and misspelling a plenty, but I am just going to add my comments to it as it currently stands. Remember, my new thoughts from today are in italics.

My ReBUTTal:
- Peyton Manning is not a bust. While he has been disappointing, I’m not sure how someone who is in the top 10 in the league in ANY category (unless it is a negative one) can be considered a bust. He’s in the top 10 in both passing yards and TD’s. He’s having a typical good year for a QB. Not meeting expectations means that you are disappointment. I reserve the BUST category for much more significant failures to produce. Also, one more side note, I predicted in the off-season that Peyton wouldn’t throw for 40 TD this season. No one believed me, but then again no one believes me on stuff like this. Finally, I don’t want to hear the counter-argument that because Peyton when #1 overall in some drafts that it makes him more of bust. People who take QB’s in the first round are fools in my opinion anyways. You are looking for consistency and quality in the first two rounds of a draft, which is why wise owners always go RB. I totally predicted a relative “decline” for Peyton last year. Of course, THIS year, fantasy Running Backs have been the BUSTS, so I guess I have no idea what players to take in the first round of a fantasy football draft.

- Stephen Davis may have BUSTed out from a TD standpoint (7), but he still is averaging less than 3 yards per carry (2.7). If averaging less than 3 yards per carry makes Kevin Jones a BUST, the same argument should counter any notion that Davis is a breakout. Of course my opinion on this matter has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I traded all of Davis’ Touchdowns for the oft-injured Julius Jones. This trade went on to ruin my fantasy football season. Julius Jones missed a few more games with nagging injuries (pretty much the whole year he was injured) and put up horrible numbers even when he was playing. Eventually I became so fed up with Julius Jones that I benched him during Week 16 when I was playing Girden for 3rd place in our league. Julius exploded for 218 yards and 2 TDs. I wanted to kill him. I traded him to Noah before the start of this year to move up in the draft to take Willie Parker (who’s been inconsistent himself – horrible on the road but great at home). I guess I can’t win. The lesson is to always play your “studs” regardless of how inconsistent they maybe be because you never know what may happen (note: I had to relearn this lesson this year when I lost last week because I had Hines Ward on the bench for his 8 catch, 171 yard, 3 TD game).

- On a completely unrelated side note, anytime I hear the word comBUSTable, I am reminded of the Cosby Show. Apparently Bill was known as Heathcliff “The ComBUSTable” Huxtable. It was featured in the episode where his old 4 x 400 relay team challenged his old collegiate rivals. Not sure how this actually applies to this article, but I wanted to show my versatility as a writer based on my ability to reference many different cultural phenomena. Also, I realize that the Cosby Show reference in no way did that. Looking back on this comment, I still laugh (even if you didn’t). However, now when I think of the Cosby Show, the scene from High Fidelity where Jack Black makes fun of John Cusak’s horrible sweater by calling it a “Cosby sweater.” I still hate Jack Black and think he is highly overrated as a comedian, but that scene always makes me laugh.

- I also wanted to add Clinton Portis to the BUSTing the Seams Category. He’s on his way to a huge second half now that he’s gotten over his TD drought. Of course, this is probably wishful thinking on my part. In my opinion and regardless of the numbers, he’s still the 2nd best overall back in the league behind LDT. He always gets easily over 100 yards a week, and the TD’s will come like rain this second half. Also, stay tuned for an upcoming article on why CP is so sweet. Of course, I tease about upcoming articles a lot, so consider yourself warned. I guess I am still a tease. Oh well. Portis did go on a big TD run to close the season (and propel me to the fantasy football playoffs). Of course, he is still really inconsistent and his poor performance last week helped me lose to Seume in the aforementioned Hines Ward game.

- As far as Perennial BUSTs, I’ll admit that I bought the Michael Bennett hype this year. I’m pretty sure that I spent a 4th round pick on the man, which is way too high. Luckily, I was able to trade him away before he ever played a game for my storied fantasy football franchise. Of course, there is nothing storied or heroic about my franchise’s history, but nonetheless I will never again will I buy the Michael Bennett hype. I actually promise (with all two or our readers as my witnesses) to never have Bennett on my team again. I’m not wavering on this issue; it’s that serious. Michael Bennett is now on his 3rd team since this article was originally written (he was traded to the Saints before they drafted Reggie Bush and then the Chiefs acquired him to help back up Larry Johnson since Priest Holmes has still not recovered from his injuries). The Rams also signed the above mentioned Stephen Davis this year as well to help back-up LJ.

- As far as Brain Greise, I still think he’s a legitimate FF QB. Of course, he’s injured and out for the year, so you might want to think of other options for the rest of this season. Essentially my love of Greise stems from my ability to pick him up last year after he became the starter in Tampa Bay. He threw for 20 TDs over the last two-thirds of the season, which of course translates to 30 over a full season. Only Peyton Manning owners would complain about a season with these numbers from their starting QB. Of course, with the emergence of Cadillac Williams (how good are SEC RBs by the way), Greise probably wasn’t going to be able to duplicate his numbers from last season anyways. The SEC RB comment kills me. Cadillac has been an injury prone disappointment pretty much since this article was originally written. He’s played well the last few weeks since the QB change, but I am pretty sure Ekwall would trade him in a second if he received a decent offer). Greise went on to sign in the off-season with the Bears. Rex Grossman has played well enough this season (except for the Arizona game and he bounces back this weekend against the 49ers) that no one really ever expects Greise to play this season at all. He did carry me the year before this article was written as hilarious as it is to think of him as a legitimate fantasy QB now.

- Finally, my response to Mark’s inflammatory and controversial opening follows. First of all, to our one female reader out there who may have been offended, I apologize. I’m personally as face and smile guy, but Mark didn’t set up the debate that way. I think I was trying desperately to be funny and clever. Also, I have always played up being a sensitive guy to the girls (even though I am not – ask all two girls that have been in a relationship with me). The dichotomy exists, and I am squarely a BUTT man. Also, who was I kidding, no females read the VT.

******

Well, thanks for taking the stroll down memory lane with me. Sorry it was so complicated, but I hope that it was still enjoyable and you had plenty of things to read and check out (Simmons’ interview, Sons of the Sports Guy website, and my previously unreleased article). I’ll see you with one more article in a few more days about my favorite commercial of all-time.

Running Diary of 2006 NBA Draft Lottery

7:23: Welcome to My Running Diary of the 2006 NBA Draft Lottery. I’ve currently been banished to the bonus room of the Lewis’ household in beautiful Scott Depot, West Virginia. Never heard of it? Don’t worry because you aren’t missing anything. We are T-minus 7 minutes and counting until the Draft Lottery begins. Everything I have read and watched in the last 24 hours has the top three draft prospects being Tyrus Thomas (LSU, F), LaMarcus Aldrige (Texas, C/PF), and Mark McIntosh, I mean, Adam Morrison (Gonzaga, SF). I’m willing to bet these won’t be the top three guys selected when the June draft rolls around. Twenty dollars anyone?

7:26: Another Mobile ESPN commercial. I am beginning to think these are shown just so that ESPN can showcase its lesser-known anchors (Trey Wingo in this one). Granted, I like Trey, but he’s no Scott Van Pelt. No one has the presence to command a room like SVP.

7:29: ESPN is finally wrapping up the KIA NBA Shoot-Around. Thank goodness. I couldn’t watch much more of Greg Anthony, Tim Legler, and STEPHEN A. SMITH. I almost cancelled the running diary because the KIA NBA Shoot-Around was so painful. By the way, let’s end the debate once and for all, “Legs” is the worst analyst of all-time. No one can convince me otherwise.


7:30: Dan Patrick voices over the NBA Lottery introduction with shots of all the college stars and past draft-winning General Managers celebrating. I think it is safe to say we all need more DP in our lives. My dad literally comes home every day and tells me something new that Dan has said on his radio show that day.

7:31: First shot of the ping-pong balls. Does anyone really know how they work? I realize that the actual lottery takes place in a back-room with all of the representatives watching, a supposedly “unbiased” observer making sure that the proceedings maintain their integrity, and four ping-pong ball combinations that tell the winners. Even with all that information, I have no clue how it works, and I think it just fuels the conspiracy theories. Interesting side note, Dan Patrick also just said that Greg Anthony watched a lot of college basketball this season. I’m guessing that was a lie since he was doing NBA shows (including the KIA NBA Shoot-Around) all-season long.

7:33: Steve Lavin’s 3-top players: Tyrus Thomas (best athlete in the draft), “Silky-Smooth” LaMarcus Aldrige (his words, not mine), and Adam Morrison. Thanks for going out on a limb there Steve. You are clearly earning your money from ESPN right now by providing tremendous insight (interesting side note, Steve won’t be heard from again this evening).

7:34: Dan asks why J.J. Redick isn’t a lottery pick since he and Adam Morrison were always talked about in the same breath all season long. He throws it to Greg Anthony who says that, according to his piles of research, there are questions about his ability to create his own shot. I’m so thankful that these guys are here to point out the obvious (although Redick will be better than people realize according to the Sports Guy). Also, it warrants mentioning that in his mock-draft after the picks are announced, Andy Katz has J.J. in the lottery. Sports Illustrated’s mock draft also has him among the lottery picks.

7:37: The Dockers commercial with broken glass and spinning bottle just came on TV. I think I do want a “Sunday Kind of Love” now that I think about it; just something to last past Saturday night.

7:39: Return from commercial break for an interview with David Stern. Great interviewer by the way – I especially enjoy the always smug look as he answers questions. Dan’s really trying to make him choose sides (dynasty versus parity, best storyline of the playoffs), but the Commissioner is swatting away these shots like Tyrus Thomas in the NCAA tournament. If he keeps this up, he may end up being the number one overall pick instead of the big three. Dan also asked him why he began the lottery twenty years ago, and every SG fan is thinking so that the Knicks could get Patrick Ewing. I was busy thinking of this conspiracy and didn’t catch the Commissioner’s answer; sorry.

7:40: As they cut to commercial, the show the envelopes being brought into the main room. When they come back, they are taking us from picks fourteen to four. The suspense is almost too much to take (ok, not really).

7:44: New Maria Sharapova ESPN cafeteria commercial that is pretty funny – ESPN really does a great job with their Sportscenter commercials. As Mark and I once liked to joke about Kristin Kreuk of Smallville, “So Hot…want to touch the hiney,” and Sharapova has definitely reached that status. Also, there’s no way Stewart Scott can be upset about John Anderson’s decision to give Maria his seat in the commercial. John made the right call, and no jury could be convinced otherwise (even if he has no shot with her).

7:46: They are now introducing all of the team representatives including Chris Paul of the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets. Backhanded compliment to Pat Hill of the Orlando Magic – “you’ve been here many times before” - which means that your team never makes the playoffs. Congrats. By the way, it is a bit disappointing to not see fellow lottery veteran Elgin Baylor. There’s still hope he can make it next year.

7:47: JoJo White, representative of the Boston Celtics, wore underwear tonight for good luck. I think it is safe to say he won’t be the third wheel in the next Michael Jordan and Kevin Bacon Hanes commercial.

7:48: Gerald Wallace is representing the Bobcats. Interesting side note that may only interest me, but I actually played against Gerald Wallace in high school. This was back in the day when he was rated the #1 player in the country in my class. He was a member of the Alabama Ice, and I was riding pine for the Georgia Stars. We both played in the same game (although definitely not at the same time). I love name-dropping by the way.

7:50: Russ Granik, NBA Deputy Commissioner, is reading the results the draft lottery results fourteen through four in a monotone voice. Quickly, they are: Utah Jazz, Philadelphia 76ers, New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets, Orlando Magic, Seattle Supersonics, Golden State Warriors, Houston Rockets, Boston Celtics, Minnesota Timberwolves, Atlanta Hawks (ouch), Portland Trailblazers. Only the Atlanta Hawks and Portland Trailblazers are out of order there (if you are going from best to worst record, they both should be higher with Portland at 1 and Atlanta at 4).

7:53: Another Sunday Kind of Love commercial. Why can’t these “accidents” happen to me? Maybe it’s because I don’t have any weekend khaki’s by Dockers? I think I will buy a pair tomorrow to find out (and yes advertising works).


7:55: Quickly back to Russ; I wasn’t ready for that: 3rd pick – Charlotte Bobcats; 2nd – Chicago Bulls (from the New York Knicks), 1st- Toronto Raptors. I’ve just become convinced that this draft is definitely rigged. I love Brian Colangelo (and not the Raptors don’t need this pick), but this result is a little shady. He leaves Phoenix after rebuilding them (and winning the executive of the year award the previous season), his dad is the savior for USA Basketball, and now he’s going to turn around the Raptors (all of those successes without even mentioning that David Stern told Mike Dolan to fire Isaiah Thomas and hire Brian Colangelo). I am briefly wondering if he has a daughter that is single just so I could say that I’ve married into the most successful NBA family of all-time.

7:57: Dan Patrick just showed that he doesn’t know his NBA teams, which is very disappointing for me personally. He was speechless while trying to list players on the Raptors after he gets past their best player Chris Bosh. I’m very disappointed in Dan, although I doubt most NBA fans can name more than one player on the Raptors. Still, I have lost a hero.

7:58: Startling revelation that Brian Colangelo is also wearing underwear. It’s safe to say that we are firmly entrenched in TMI (Too Much Information) territory of the program, and that the NBA draft lottery doesn’t need to last 30 minutes. Can we go back to a halftime draft lottery because that clearly worked much better? Please?


7:59: Portland is looking forward to the 4th pick according to their owner. My thoughts immediately go to my good friend Josh Carlton, whose team can’t seem to catch a break. The only consolation is that this is a really weak draft, so it isn’t like his team missed out on the next Lebron James or anything. Plus, the best player in last year’s draft was taken at the 4-spot.

8:00: Alright, the Eastern Conference Finals Game 1 is about to tip-off, so I’m out. Hope you enjoyed the NBA Draft as much as I did. Remember to support the NBA because it is FAN-tastic (and all executives wear underwear at the Draft Lottery – whether they do at the actual draft remains to be seen).

The Braves Are Going To Get Their 15th Straight Division Title

One of the biggest reasons that I wanted to come back to the Village Tavern was to be able to write some blog articles about the Atlanta Braves. Having spent the majority of my life in Georgia, the Braves have always been my favorite professional sports team. In fact, my earliest memory is a Braves game that my family attended for my 6th birthday in 1988. I don’t remember much about the game itself, but I remember the view from our seats halfway up the third base line. I also remember getting sunburned on my legs. Granted, these aren’t great baseball insights, but, then again, I was only six years old. The next year (1989), my family attended a dinner and baseball clinic that the Atlanta organization put on for the fans. I took grounders from Mark Lemke and spent sometime on the field of Atlanta Fulton County Stadium (fondly called the “Launching Pad” because of its propensity to yield home runs). Other early games that I attended include the 1991 NLCS game 1 against the Pittsburgh Pirates (Bobby Bonilla, Andy Van Slyke, and Barry Bonds were all on this Pirates team) and a LA Dodgers game that year (it was Darryl Strawberry’s first season with the Dodgers and everyone was wearing Strawberry foam hats - remember, I was 9 so I was focused in on the nuisances of the game).

I give you all of this background just to prove that I was raised a Braves fan and have been a loyal follower ever since that time (when a team is as successful as the Braves, you get a lot of bandwagon fans). Furthermore, I’m knowledgeable about the Braves because I’ve been following them consistently since 1991. Given my knowledge of this team’s history, I can safely say that the Braves are going to win their 15th straight division title. As I write this article, the Braves are 16-19, sitting 6.0 games behind the New York Mets. They’ve been as many as 9 games behind the Mets thus far this season. Following the Braves this season, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that their run is over. The Mets are too good and too dominant; the Braves are too young and inexperienced. While the Braves maybe younger than most of their previous years (except last year when some of these same players were rookies), they have plenty of talent and experience to win the division title. Let’s examine the facts:

1. The Braves have one of the game’s best players in his prime in Andruw Jones. Andruw had a monster year last year when he turned 28 at the beginning of the season. He’s now 29 and firmly entrenched in the prime years of his career (historically, the prime years for a major league baseball position players are 28-34). Regardless of how the baseball writer’s voted last season, he was the Most Valuable Player on any team last year (by the way, we need a definitive ruling on the actual meaning of this award since every league treats it differently: in baseball, it’s the person with the best all-around number (Pujolos); in basketball, it’s the player who’s most indispensable to his team (Nash the past two seasons); in football, it’s the guy that has a record setting season (Peyton the year before and then Alexander this season)). Andruw will continue to put up these kinds of numbers this season. Also, it’s not just straight numbers with Andruw. He probably saves 2-3 runs a week with his defense in center field (8 consecutive Gold Gloves), and no National Player is better in the clutch (see 21 game-winning RBI and 19 late-inning home runs last season).

2. The Mets record is skewed by playing bad teams. Before this week, the Mets had played 1 team with a record above .500. I’m sorry, but if you are a good team (and let’s be honest, the Mets are good team - definitely talented enough to challenge for the division title and the wild card), you should be off to a great start when the schedule makers help you out so much. As the season progresses, the Mets will have to play more teams with records above .500, and their record will suffer because of it. You can already see this effect beginning to occur as the Braves have made up 3 games on the Mets since their series closed last Sunday (the Mets played the above .500 Phillies and the .500 Brewers this week).

3. The Braves sophomores aren’t really slumping. Much has been made of the supposed sophomore struggles of many of the Braves 2nd year players (specifically OF Ryan Langerhans, C Brian McCann, and OF Jeff Francoeur). While Jeff’s average has suffered early in the season (remember he came up last July and hit .300 with 14 HR’s, 45 RBI’s), he’s still been putting up decent RBI and HR numbers (he’s currently on pace for 28 HR’s and 120 RBI’s while “struggling”). Furthermore, in the last 10 games, Francoeur has begun to improve his batting average hitting by hitting .326 in that span along with a 10-game hitting streak. His early season struggles are just part of the adjustment to Major League Baseball. When you come up as a rookie, you have an advantage as a hitter because teams do not have a great scouting report against you. As you get more plate appearances (1/2 of a season’s worth from last year), teams can develop a way to pitch you. The hitter must then learn how teams are pitching him and make the necessary adjustments. Jeff is beginning to make these adjustments over the last 10 games. McCann is actually hitting 69 points higher this season than last (.347 compared to .278). Ryan Langerhans is hitting for the exact same batting average that he has in each of his major league seasons (.267). I think it’s safe to say that the “slump” talk has been overblown.

4. The Mets don’t have the starting pitching to match the Braves over the course of the season. I’ll give you that Pedro and Glavine are a solid 1-2 combination at the beginning of a rotation (even if they are old and susceptible to breaking down), but it’s hard to have worse 3, 4, and 5 starters than the Mets. Steve Trachsel, Jeremi Gonzalez, and Jose Lima are hardly the kind of pitching depth you want when you are trying to knock-off the 14-time defending champs. Trachsel’s ERA is 4.91, Lima’s currently sits at 9.31, and Gonzalez is coming off two right elbow surgeries in the past two seasons. The Mets may have a potent offense, but it isn’t nearly good enough to carry these 3 sub-par starters all season long. You need deep starting pitching to be successful over the course of a 162 game season.

In conclusion, it’s still really early in the season. I’m not sure why everyone has been so quick to dismiss the Braves’ chances at a fifteenth straight division title. Hopefully my arguments have made you think twice before you dismiss this team like all of the “experts” have done. There is a reason that lifetime baseball guys tell you not to check the standings until the end of May.

I'm Back

After a much maligned and sudden retirement several months ago, I’ve had plenty of time to think. All of this thinking led me to the realization that I miss writing for this blog. Fortunately for the VT, my timing couldn’t have been better. Sexley has decided that he’s better off writing his own blog on his website (which is more of a journal so his friends can read about the day-to-day details of his life – lame), so the VT is left without its all important third-wheel. On a day when an all-time great (yet underrated) Jacksonville WR Jimmy Smith suddenly retires, I’m attempting to balance out his loss by once again blogging.


Even though I was absent in writing form these past few months, I wanted all of our loyal readers to know that I was still playing an integral part in the day-to-day (let’s be honest, once-a-week-by-once-a-week) operations of the VT. I was pushing Mark’s buttons, challenging Ek to realize that the majority of the VT fan’s didn’t care that he was spending all of his free time with Emily, and unsuccessfully trying to cajole James into writing more than one article in 3+ months of “contributing.” I finally came to the realization that the VT would be better served if I just wrote my opinions and thoughts. Now that I’m a few months older and wiser, I hope not to fall into the same traps I did the first time I was a VT member (promising specific articles that I never got around to writing, starting articles and never finishing them, etc.). Look for my first new contribution in a couple of days.

Random Thoughts on a College Football Weekend

I know we've already had one post on this blog that clearly outlined College Football’s relative inferiority to the NFL, but I spent a full Saturday watching games. I needed to make a post, and CF was on my mind. With that said, here we go (and, as always, in no apparent order):

WVU vs. VT:
I watched the first half of this game from my apartment and the second half from the upper deck of the student section at about the 15 yard line (oversleeping and not wanting to miss a minute of action while you walk over will do that for you). VT ended up winning the game by a final score of 34-17. Unfortunately, 2 first half turnovers by the Mountaineers set up scoring opportunities for the Hokies, and WVU could never catch-up. Tech was very efficient on offense, and I’m convinced Marcus Vick is for real. He compiled the following stats: 15/17 in completions for 177 yards and 2 TDs, and 12 rushes for 74 yards and another TD. While he may have received a lot of hype early in his career for being Mike’s little brother, he deserves all of the attention that he is getting now. (Note: I’m going to completely ignore all of the “attention” that the Mountaineer fans gave him this week and throughout the game for his past indiscretions. I’m not even sure that I would be able to properly handle myself if I was 19 and given pretty much everything I ever wanted, was a celebrity everywhere I went, etc. I’m not trying to excuse his actions or say that he shouldn’t have been punished, but I know the idiots around me during the game would have screwed up just as badly had they been placed in those same situations. For as much as we look up to athletes and expect a lot from them, we have to remember that they are still young kids and most grew up in much more difficult situations that I or most of my friends could imagine...stepping down off my high horse now). As far as WVU goes, the freshman Slaton had a great game. I hope we’ve found our tailback for the rest of the season because he certainly brought a dynamic (speed and quickness) that had been missing from our ground attack. He hit some holes and easily had the best day amongst the backs (11 rushes for 90 yards). The bigger, power backs had more difficulty with the Hokies speed on defense. (Speed, it’s the wave of the future). As far as the passing attack, WVU has to open it up a bit more. You can run the entire game and beat teams like Syracuse, Wofford, East Carolina, and even Maryland, but against the better teams, you have to have a little more balance. We had 20 more rushing attempts than passing attempts in a game where we were down the entire game. I’m not sure I understand the philosophy. It isn’t like the Quaterbacks have shown an inability to complete the pass either. Pat White, who I like a great deal, was 9/11 for 85 yards and 2 TD’s. Not that Rich would ever read this, but THROW THE BALL more. You may be an innovator in the sense that your team runs the “no-huddle” offense and you have some unconventional plays, but someone needs to catch you up to speed on the importance of the Forward Pass. Just for reference, It was a great innovation back in the 1906.

Alabama vs. Florida
I was torn in this game. Being a UGA fan, I wanted the SEC East to be well-represented. However, I hate Florida, my friend Yates attends Dental School there (reason enough), and I’ve always had an unexplained respect for the Crimson Tide. All that being said, I decided that I wanted the Crimson Tide to “roll,” and I was happy to see an easy victory over the Gators. Knowing UF fans, I’m sure it will only be a matter of time before the first fireurbanmeyer.com site pops up as the result of this game. Maybe the same people that did the fireronzook.com site could start working on that? Of course, even though he is the UF coach, I still like Urban Meyer a lot. His team may have not been completely prepared for today's game, but I think that the problem with the Gators today is something that I have been stressing all season long – they are overrated. Look at their schedule thus far; if they had anymore cupcakes they could rival Hostess. And please don’t give me that crap about beating Tennessee as justification for the Gators Top 10 ranking. Tennessee is overrated this year too (although they scare me this upcoming weekend now that they’ve settled on a QB). That game was in Gainesville, which is probably a 10 point advantage for the Gators. The outcome is probably completely different if that game is played in Knoxville or even on a neutral field. As much as I hate to admit it, the SEC East is down a little bit this year. Also related to the Bama/UF game, I wanted to send my best get well wishes to Tyrone Prothro for the Tide who had one of the worst looking injuries I have ever seen. It’s a good thing he is only a junior because I’d hate for a player’s CF career to end on a meaningless TD attempt when the game was well in hand (Mike Shula, what were you thinking? In the words of Bobby Knight, "You will never be your father!").

Vanderbilt vs. MTSU
Vanderbilt loses its bid to start 5-0 and officially usher in the Apocalypse. I only watched the last 45 seconds, but apparently my watching signaled to the Commodores that it was time to revert to their ways of old. Herm Edwards couldn’t have more poorly executed the finish to their last drive. Personally, I’m just glad the kick was blocked, so maybe the poor freshman kicker won’t be scarred for the rest of his career by thinking that he is the one that prevented Vanderbilt from being bowl-eligible for the first time since the year I was born (1982).

Notre Dame vs. Purdue
I confess that I didn’t really watch this game (I’d rather watch the Notebook on back-to-back nights than watch the Irish play – and you think I’m kidding, but I’m not. Maybe I even did...maybe I just said too much). However, I can still say without a doubt that Notre Dame is SO overrated. I know they killed Purdue, beat Michigan, and beat Pittsburgh, but the common denominator in all of these teams is that they are OVERRATED too. Look at their currentrecords, and it is clear that Notre Dame shouldn’t be ranked #13 for these wins. Pittsburgh has “a” win (as in 1). Purdue has only managed to beat might Arizona and Akron, and Michigan has only beaten Northern Illinois, E. Michigan, and now Michigan State (1 respectable win). USC is going to crush Notre Dame; Tennesse will too. Mark my words.

USC vs. ASU
While I normally hate PAC-10 football, I was looking forward to watching this game. Instead, both my local ABC stations decided that I would rather watch Penn State and Minnesota. Thanks guys. As far as USC, they are going to run the table. Having these close games is just a way to provide a challenge for themselves in the second half and to keep themselves in the national spotlight more (they got more attention after they almost “lost” these last 2 games than they received while they were killing teams early in the season). These kids go to school in Las Angeles. They understand the importance of publicity and press, and, just like celebrities, are going to do what it takes to get theirs. They run the table and win their 2nd national title in a row (not 3rd because LSU won the championship in 2003; the AP doesn’t count).

Nacho-rama - The Appetizer

I didn’t have time to work on an in-depth article like my counterparts, so y’all are going to be stuck with some random thoughts and short points this week instead. Let’s get started.

1. Great post by Ek on why the NFL is better than College Football. Being a recent NFL convert myself, he did a great job of stating the problems with the college game and voicing the frustrations of many of the game’s critics. Also, I had completely forgotten that USC only one the AP National Championship in 2003 while LSU won the BCS National Championship. Kudos to Ek for the reminder.

Two quick counterpoints (although they aren’t nearly enough to tip the scales in favor of the college game):

A. The three of us are probably all biased by the fact that we went to Wheaton College, which is located in Chicago, Illinois, and only a Division III football team. There are no big time college football programs in the area (no, Northwestern doesn’t count), so we weren’t exposed to the tradition and excitement of being on a major college campus on a Fall day right before kickoff. The other factor working against the college game for us is the fact that the majority of the students at Wheaton generally did not get along with the football players. Whereas Mountaineers are generally regarded as celebrities and demigods up here in Morgantown, the majority of Wheaton’s campus thought that the football players were jerks. I’m not saying whether this was the right or wrong opinion, but it definitely introduces a bias into our opinions of college football players in general.

B. The NFL cannot compete with the college game in terms of tradition. From the “Dotting of the ‘I’” at Ohio State, the DawgWalk at UGA, or the singing of “Country Roads” after WVU victories, there a many more long-lasting and meaningful traditions among colleges as compared to the NFL. The only NFL team that comes close to this kind of tradition would be the Green Bay Packers. However, compared to collegiate traditions, the Packers’ traditions such as the Lambeau Leap simply don’t make the grade. Also contributing to this more storied tradition is the fact that the college game has been around longer than professional football (1880’s versus 1920’s for the earliest professional football). Some of the biggest rivalries in college football have been played for over 100 years. It’s hard for the NFL to beat that tradition when we are only up to 40 years since the league merger and we're still adding expansion teams like the Houston Texans as of 2002.

Just thought I’d quickly make the counter arguments since no one else decided to make them.

2. Just so you know, I’m watching the Dave Matthews Band on VH1 Storytellers right now. Sorry if my distraction is evident. There is absolutely nothing more entertaining to me than listening to Dave Matthews talk. I love the man’s music, but I just start laughing when I ever I hear him speak. Watching him interact with the band members when they are being interviewed is pretty awesome too. He's like a little, giddy kid. Even if you don’t like the music, you should be watching the show just for these kinds of interactions. Also, Carter Beauford (the drummer for those of you unfamiliar) just said that they (the band) “trust” Dave lyrically to express his opinions and the opinions of the band without going overboard. It’s insights like this one that you can only get from VH1 Storytellers. Jeez, I had no idea that the primary song writer and lead singer for the band was in this position. Unbelievable!

3. A very enjoyable and entertaining article from Mark on the absurdity of Frank Robinson’s 45 second staring contest with the umpire in a recent National’s game. The Will Ferrell references scattered throughout were a real treat. I’m very impressed because Mark is not a baseball guy, but he put in some serious effort and time researching for his article. Plus, he was very creative (and at times a bit too personal – going from naked to fully dressed) in coming up with things to do in 45 seconds. It might have been a little bit better had the entire article only taken 45 seconds to read and the final point was “read this entire article.” However, this approach would not have given us the same full glimpse into Mark's psyche that we all now possess.

4. I know it is a great song, but do they always have to play “Ants Marching” at every live show and put it on every concert cd that is released by the band? What? They do? Oh, my bad; I didn’t realize that. Sorry.

5. Just wanted express my condolences and sympathy to Javon Walker since he is out for the season with an ACL tear. I realize that calling a professional football player’s season ending injury tragic is not appropriate in light of the recent true tragedies (not even a strong enough word) of Hurricane Katrina, but Walker’s injury was a major disappointment for Packers’ fans and NFL fans in general. He was in the process of becoming (and may still after he returns next season) one of the best WR in the NFL, although he was paid less than many back-ups. His agent Drew Rosenhaus threatened to hold him out for the season if the Packers didn’t increase his salary to level of other #1 Wide Receivers in the NFL. Javon reported to camp without a new contract, and then tore his ACL in the first game. Granted, Walker still made more money than most of the world can ever dream about, but it is disappointing to see him not get the amount of money that we as a society have deemed professional athletes (entertainers really – a forthcoming article from me that will challenge all your perceptions and preconceived notions about professional sports) at his level should receive. I hope that he is able to get back to this level after his injury for his sake and for our sake as fans whom get to watch him play.

6. There is nothing quite like the group of individuals that assemble at the DMB concert. It’s truly phenomenal. By the way, according to his imdb.com page, Dave’s favorite drink is Jack Daniels. Also, if your one of those people that jumped off the DMB bandwagon, you’ve been beaten to the punch by the man himself (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39670/print/).

Well as you can see, I ran out of material a while ago. I promise actual articles with research in the future, but I had to get something up fast. I also realize that I have promised at least 4 or 5 specific articles in the course of my first 2 posts. Get ready.

Last But Certainly Not Least

Actually, I probably am the least; I'm definitely the last one to introduce myself. It's too bad that Ekwall decided not to introduce Mark or myself because I guarantee what he would have said about me would have been much more concise, eloquent, and funny than anything you are about to read. Anyways, I am a second-year Medical Student at West Virginia University in the hills of Morgantown, WV. Unfortunately for you, my status as a Medical Student will prevent me from blogging as much as I would like to blog, but I promise to submit at least one entry a week from here on out.

As far as my specific background, I've spent most of my life as a nomad because my dad has been transferred a lot with his work. Because I've lived in so many places, a wide-range of influences have affected how I view sports and many of the opinions that I currently hold. As far as major sports, I am a big Atlanta guy, mainly because my earliest interactions with sports came during our time in Atlanta. I went to my first Braves game in 1988 for my sixth birthday, and I've been following the team ever since. I'm actually convinced that the soon-to-be fourteen straight division titles by the Braves is one the most underrated (and arguably one of the greatest) achievements in professional sports history. I'll spell out my reasons for this belief a little more clearly in a future entry, but at least I've given you something specific to look forward to reading. I'm also a big Falcons and Hawks fan, and I intend to delve into the states of these two franchises as soon as possible. As far as collegiate sports, I am in the process of becoming a Mountaineer fan, and my comments on this transition will also be appearing very soon. I also know quite a bit about the Midwest scene from my time at Wheaton, but I'll probably end up deferring to Ekwall on the majority of these topics. I prefer television to movies, and critiques of various TV shows will be appearing in this column from time to time. I love music, so new cds, concerts, and trends in music will also not be outside of the scope of this site. Be prepared for just about anything and hopefully you will enjoy reading all of it.

Anyways, I could go on and on about my specific background, but I think who I am will become more evident and apparent as entries are made. I'm excited about the possibilities of what this site could become for the three of us, and I also look to it as a way to keep in touch and dialogue with numerous friends. I can promise you that you'll receive opinions from three very passionate and opinionated people, so there should always be something to satisfy your appetite the way only a half order of the Nacho'rama can. Now if someone can send Rachel #2 our way, we'll go ahead and order.